| Is ignorance a virtue for women? | |
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| Oct 13, 2007 22:33 | #31   |
 | Hi, Why would we try so hard to distinguish " a father's love" from "a mother's love to children" ? Does it really matter? For the kids, both 'mother's love' and 'father's love' are indispensible. IMO, the only subtle diference between 'a fathere's love' and ' a mother's love' lies in the way how a father and a mother show their love. A father's love is more 'macro', and he tries to show his love through setting an example for his children and teaching his children how to be a man of integrity. Whearas, a mother's love is based on " a micro-level". She shows her love to her children through taking care of their daily lives. That is to say, a mother's love is reflected on a day-to-day basis. In appeareance, a mother's love is seemingly insignificant or trivial. Well, actually, the dribs and drabs of a mother's love is more memorable and longlasting. Gradually, a mother's love will take the "deepest" root in her children's hearts and minds. Perhaps, I think this is why Dodger states that a mother's love is unconditional. ( A mother's love is more closely associated with the kid's daily lives.) Well, Dodger, for your statement that "she will love them with no reservation, right or wrong, good or bad, she will love them.", I am sorry to say that probably you misinterprete ' a mother's love' . That kind of love you mentioned is a kind of "spoiled love " or "doting love ". I admit there are quite a lot of "doting mothers", but actually, a father's love is similar to a mother's love in this way. Since whether your kids are right or wrong, they are parts of your blood and flesh.' Blood is always thicker than water." |
| Oct 14, 2007 00:36 | #32 |
| Leonardo, I was quoting from a theory by Yung. His words not mine. I am surprised that no one else has read it. Still, some interesting responses. Cheers, Dodger. |
| Oct 14, 2007 19:00 | #33 |
| i agree that there's gender confusion in Western countries. I know that some Western guys complain like this: American girls are too masculine, they're too aggressive, blah blah blah... Western women also work very hard and have confidence. Many of them work full-time and also raise children full-time. In a way Western guys should be happy, because the woman is doing a lot of extra work for no pay. She does what he does -- get a good paycheque -- and more. Sure, Asian women are more feminine but they are more often followers. They want someone more successful than they are. Just to make my point, we know two female doctors here who are both married to plumbers. Can you imagine any Asian woman doing that? Because I can't. That would be totally ridiculous in Asia. Why don't you do a survey of working men today and ask them how many of them would like to be the sole breadwinner for four or more people? From my informal survey, more and more young men want a wife who works. Western women might be too masculine for some people's tastes, but I find that in some ways they are really strong and capable. |
| Oct 14, 2007 19:18 | #34 |
| since this is an interesting thread, it sparked a discussion between me and a friend. We see that neither system is perfect -- Asian or Western. In Western countries, we have a high divorce rate and breakdown of the nuclear family. And Caucausians put their parents too often in nursing homes... Asian countries also have social problems. It is very typically Asian to endure hardships quietly. Maybe that is why you don't see them as openly. They keep it to themselves and try to solve them privately. An example: more and more Asian men have mistresses. That's a secret way of solving their dissatisfaction or boredom with their marriage. I don't know what the solution is... Each person can look around at different systems and choose a partner who matches their personality and lifestyle, but I would disagree that the Asian way is all better than the Western way of relationships. Western people are more genuine, I find, and straight forward, but once they're unhappy they cannot endure the hardships that might be necessary to fix something. They lack the patience that Asians have. Asian people are more patient, but sometimes choose to play roles for the sake of harmony. If they play roles too much, they might not find their true identity in the long run. So, I find that Asian and Western culture are just different... take your pick... |
| Oct 16, 2007 04:36 | #35 |
| Very well-said, CHYNAGYRL , "There's gender confusion in Western countries. " The same thing is happening to China. The outdated gender stereotype has been washed out. The distinction of gender role becomes unclear . |
| Oct 17, 2007 04:54 | #36 |
| Why should women be ignorant? The same quetion for all you gentlemen in this forum: Is ignorance a virtue for "MEN"? Will you like a girl of ignorance? |
| Oct 17, 2007 05:29 | #37 |
| Sunnydream, My own preference is for a strong, intelligent and independently minded Woman. Not one that agrees with my every word. I do not like to see ignorance in a man or a woman. But I would expect my Wife to allow me to be a Man and most smart Women understand this fact. My Wife, I hope would use other methods to have her way. There may be some gender confusion for some in the west but not in my mind. Dodger. |
| Oct 18, 2007 05:01 | #38 |
| In China, a good-looking lady of ignorance is called " A Vase", since she is only for show. In this highly civilized world, I thinkd nobody want to be called " the ignorant". Sunnydream, a good question! For your quesiton, definitely the answer is "NO". I bet you won't like a man of ignorance either. Right? |
| Oct 18, 2007 14:04 | #39 |
| Quote: "So, I find that Asian and Western culture are just different... take your pick..." To solve this problem there is one solution: let's find a Asian wife/ husband for Westerners and the opposite for Asians ;) Children may have both qualities and ... shortcomings. ;-) |
| Oct 21, 2007 22:22 | #40 |
| Quote: "Asian women are more feminine but they are more often followers. They want someone more successful than they are. Just to make my point, we know two female doctors here who are both married to plumbers. Can you imagine any Asian woman doing that? Because I can't. That would be totally ridiculous in Asia." CHYNAGYRL, I am wondering how to reply to your post. "Asian women are more feminine" but they are more often followers. Here are two key words: " Feminine" and "Followers". Does "being feminine" mean " to be followers"? From what you said, I guess you have a deep understanding of Asian women. (Af least, you think that you think you did understand Asian women well.) Otherwise, I think you wouldn't have declared a generalization about Asian women. It is true that Asian women are feminine, but that doesn't mean we are followers. Especially in this new era, Chinese women also values independence, freedom and self-actualization. It seems that in your eyes, a marriage between "a doctor and a plumber ' is ridiculous. You said you can't. But the case(doctor and plumber) you mentioned is also possible in China. Chynagyl, I am sorry to you have a strong gender stereotype of Asian women. "more and more Asian men have mistresses. That's a secret way of solving their dissatisfaction or boredom with their marriage." So, you blame Asian women for the failure of marriage. Western men keep mistresses,too. Why? Keeping mistresses are the immoral behaviors of men. That's not women's fault, pls. |
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