| Why marry a Chinese girl? | |
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| Jan 11, 2009 02:10 | #241   |
| GUEST24455 | Hello All, I am currently dating and considering marrying a young chinese lady, that I meant while on a project in Saudi Arabia. I am an american, and I am concerned about her being able to adapt to the life style that I live. I travel a great deal, most of the time. I am rarely in one place for more than 6 months, because of my line of work. I have the ability for her to travel with me if most cases, but I am worried that she does not fully understand what she is getting into. I am also concerned about our cultural differences. I have been able to adapt to most of her habits and do not see any issues on my side, but I am worried that she may have a hard time adjusting to the western culture. She has no desire to live in America, and I can understand why.( Her life style is so much more relaxed than most westerners) and I believe she sees that in the way, I am. I am always on the go, and she does not understand why? (to be honest, most of the time I don't understand it either.) With that being said, " I think she is the best thing since sliced bread." She is one of most beautiful ladies that I have ever had the pleasure meeting. She is very respectful, considerate, and extremely well mannered. She puts her wants and needs aside for me a lot of times, even when I ask her not too. (Western Women would never do that, or none of the ones I have ever met would) I have fallen head over heels for her, and I dont want to do anything to upset her way of life, or change anything about her. But I want to be with her for the rest of my life, and I am worried that my life will upset her and I would never want that to happen.I have never been in a situation like this. Where I worry more about her and the effects of my life may have on her, then what I want. I guess, we all dream of meeting the perfect person a soul mate, if you will. I dont know where our relationship will lead or what is going to happen. I just know this is what I have been looking for for the longest time, I am a little scared of what My life will do to her. And I am not looking for an excuse to stop the relationship. Just advice on how to keep from upsetting her life? Bob |
| Jan 11, 2009 08:13 | #242 |
 | Hi Bob, You ran into the major difference of Chinese women and western women. Western women treat men like slaves, you need to please HER, and if you are lucky she stays with you. That being said... Why would you take her to the U.S. She wouldn't understand, and probably she wouldn't like... Why not setup a house in China, let her live there, and you change your home form U.S. to China. When being married it isn't a problem for you to get a visa for one year. She at the other hand will run into a lot of challenges to go to the U.S. or any other western country. Visa for Europe are extremely hard to get as a chinese citizen, especially if you haven't got any family there, |
| Jan 11, 2009 18:53 | #243 |
| GUEST02103 | What a pig! I meet so many good western women, where are you find your western women? In a bar? As a Chinese female I certainly feel that Westerner is more attractive than Chinese man, but I still admit that there is good man in China, many many of them. I just unlucky not find one. Man and women in one country is a match, if the women is not good, usually the man is hard to please too. If you show disrespect for your own country woman, just because she do not want to sarcific her entire life for you. Then you are a pig! |
| Jan 12, 2009 08:04 | #244 |
| You're very fast with jumping on conclusions. 1st of all I did not meet her in a bar, she was my classmate (bachelor study) 2nd, it is not only my opinion, but is confirmed by a collegue of mine from marocco, at that collegue was a female. 3rd, calling names ain't much of a respect either, and the choosen words are, from my background, the worst thing you can possibly say to someone. I am open-minded and I would reconsider my statements if proven wrong, but not on a comment like "you are a pig". 4th, Meeting western women in a woman to woman meeting as absolutely no comparison as it is for a meeting between man and woman, especially not if it is concerning a relationship. You will find many fellow countrymen with the same opinion. Ask the divorced men in my country, espacially the ones that don't see their children anymore, and you will soon find out what I mean. 5th, Chinese men... It is not for me to judge about them, not my country, but let me say that I hear a lot different stories and opinions then the one you are proclaiming right here. 6th, before you jump on conclusions, calling names, it would be very nice if you would take the time to ask first. Since I have a registered account, this would have been very easy, simply by dropping a message in my mailbox of the forum. |
| Jan 12, 2009 08:30 | #245 |
| 7th, You have a point, Not every western woman is the same, which makes I can't speak for everyone. However, my county is a very small one, hehe, in Shanghai live as much people as in my country. But... not every women will be like I described, but that is the problem with a general statement, it tells about the majority, which is 50%+1 But... still your comment ain't justified by any means. |
| Jan 12, 2009 18:21 | #246 |
| GUEST22184 | IT IS BECAUSE CHINESE WOMAN HAVE HIGHER VALUES THAT MANY WESTERN MEN ARE FINDING REFRESHING. WESTERN WOMEN ARE BASICALLY LAZY, LOUD AND OVER ASSERTIVE IN MY OPINION. CHINESE MEN ARE WISE TO STAY AWAY FROM THEM, THEY ARE NOT WORTH PERSUING. YOUR NOT MISSING A THING. |
| Jan 13, 2009 07:10 | #247 |
| GUEST24455 | JAAP, Thanks for the advice and I am considering doing exactly that, setting up house in China. My girl is from Dalian. her family is mainly still located in Dalian. Her little sister is married to a Britt. And is currently living in Britain. My girl, says she want to go where ever I go to work. That is one of the things that worry me most. I dont want her to change. She is a great person. I have friends that have married eastern girls, took them to the states or other western countries. And the girls got westernized and now the some of the guys have divorced and some looking at divorce and others that have moved to the east to keep from lossing their family. I dont want to loss, what my girl and I have. But I have two young boys of my own in the states and the only way for me to see them is to maintain a home near them for my visit home on R&R. With that being said.. It still makes sense for me to set up house in China as well. And Wen an I just visiting a couple times a year to the states. The boys would enjoy visiting China a lot more than being in the states during their summer break. Anyway. Guest22184 hit it on the head; The only thing I see that he left of was the fact that 8 of 10 american women cheat on their husband within the first 3 years of marriage. They are good liars. Bob |
| Jan 13, 2009 22:11 | #248 |
| Hi Bob, 8 out of 10, man, I thought Holland was terrible... It seems I was more right then I thought. Guest02103 should do some more research or she has been westernized. Anyway, I left kids behind in Holland as well, a great loss, but my ex didn't let me see them anyway. I am not going to let her rule my life. Divorce = divorce (She cheated me as well) Western women demand everything, never grateful, always complain, and in the end the cheat on you. It is not that a girl has to sacrifice everything for me... (by the way, who is sacrificing here, when I leave to China?) But with western girls, a man ends up to be there slaves... A new term i read in the newspaper: Fembots. I think it says it all. Slavery was abolished long time ago. Chinese women have still the values which makes them true sincere women, who are easy to love and easy to please. They are grateful, it is a real pleasure to serve them. Anyway, In China a Chinese woman is most happy, close to her family. I know where Dalian is, but have never been there. For myself, I live in Haikou.. |
| Jan 14, 2009 19:12 | #249 |
| No matter whether it's a marriage or friendship, the one that Chinese girls don't want to choose is psychologically eunuch type man who is insidious. |
| Jan 14, 2009 21:29 | #250 |
| Hi Marrie, What do you mean with "psychologically eunuch"? (just wondering what you mean, that's all) I think no one wants to have a psycho in any way, man or woman... grtz, Jaap |
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