| Will you sign a prenuptial agreement? | |
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| Nov 20, 2007 10:32 | #41   |
 | QQBB, Thank you, and yeah, Leo is an unavoidable provoking (he, he, he,) person. With every one of you, I have learned better about the mind and thinking of the Chinese people. Your writings are always interesting, gentle and nice, because of this site and every one of you; I can say that I understand my girl friend better. jcl |
| Nov 20, 2007 10:34 | #42 |
| Ups! sorry, not QQBB, instead BBQQ. |
| Nov 20, 2007 19:53 | #43 |
| BBQQ, JC, Thank you for speaking good of me. JC, you are right. I am a provoking person. Well, my intention was not to provoke your unpleasure, but to provoke your in-depth thought. Hope you understand me. Glad to hear that you understand your girlfriend because of this site and everyone here( including me, hehe). I want to say because of all you here , I have learnt better about the ways of thinking and behaving of you western guys. Thanks! I value the good days (only several months) in this forum. |
| Nov 23, 2007 03:49 | #44 |
| It seems that this thread has run out of steam. To the original question, I will answer that it is acceptable to sign a pre-nuptial agreement. It is just like buying an insurance policy for marriage. Actually, we buy a lot of insurance in the whole life. Life insurance, health insurance ,property insurance and so on. |
| Jan 19, 2008 18:19 | #45 |
| GUEST08492 | I know i'm a little late to join in this thread but i think people also have to remember there are people who are in different situations, such as married mixed nationality couples who live in China and then get a divorce. One of the divorcees might then decide to flee back to their country of origin which is a lot more expensive than China. Remember when people leave a marraige it shouldn't only be about money but also quality of life. |
| Jan 20, 2008 20:02 | #46 |
| GUEST08492, "Remember when people leave a marraige it shouldn't only be about money but also quality of life. " Are you for or against signing a prenuptial agreement? According to your post, I feel you are against signing a prenuptial agreement. Is it possible for a couple to sign a prenupt without money and assets involved? For example, only some things concerned the quality of life: the distribution of housework, the promises the couple made to each other. |
| Jan 20, 2008 21:35 | #47 |
| GUEST08492 | I think pre-nupts are a good idea. Nothing in life is certain, especially marriage, as the divorce figures prove. People change, the person you married 2 years ago may not be the same person your with now, especially when money is involved. You may also change yourself. Because you get married and then divorced this does not mean that 15 years of hard work previous to the marriage should go down the drain (just using that for an example). Also i think it is unfair for both parties to be stuck in an unhappy marraige because one or both are scared of the financial ramifications if they were to seperate. I have a girlfreind in China that i will probably propose to very soon. If we ever break up i will make sure she doesn't have to worry about money but i will not be willing to lose everything i have worked hard for. I do love my girl very much but unfortunately trust is for stupid people. |
| Jan 21, 2008 07:39 | #48 |
| Although signing a pre-nup would seem to indicate peoples lack of confidence in a realtionship. It is a fact that a great many marriages DO break down, and these marriages were probably just as promising in their early days as the marriages that last. When a couple have equal financial assets, there is probably less need of a pre-nup, but when there is a greater difference then it is more prudent to make a pre-nup. People dont like to talk about pre-nups because then they have to consider all the bad things that may happen and they feel that they may be bringing bad luck or feelings to the relationship. The fact is, we dont like making wills because then we have to think about the fact that we will die. We insure our cars, not because we think we are bad drivers, but because we know there is always the chance of an accident. It does seem that women are mostly against pre-nups. Men would probably prefer to have them but do not want to upset their girl. Why is this? This is my feeling. ( preparing myself to be shot down in flames now...he he! ) The guy wants to protect his lifes savings, property, pension etc The girl sees his desire for a pre-nup as an insult, he doesn't trust her, he doesnt't trust himself not to be faithful. The guy has seen at least a number of friends / colleagues relationships go down the pan and has witnessed the horrible aftermath especially when it comes to access to the kids, ex-wifes new boyfriend moving in and playing 'dad' to the kids. Being chucked out of his own house by prejudiced judges etc etc The guy probably just wants some degree of protection against all these things and losing so much of his money AND future earnings The girl sense the guy has reservations ( because of his fear ) and takes it as an emotional insult, maybe he doenst love her as much as see loves him. Fact is there ARE gold diggers in the world male and female, I know this is controversial but in most of the cases it is the guy that stands to lose mostly and the girl that stands to gain mostly. If it was the other way round then maybe girls would be more practical when it came to pre-nups! I know of one couple in England where it is the guy that has had to sign a contract stating that he will not try to take half the value of his wifes house in the event of a break up. So over here at least things are changing. But that is because women are on more of an even footing over here. Okay, thats my bit. Shoot me down!!! |
| Jan 21, 2008 09:17 | #49 |
| "The guy wants to protect his lifes savings, property, pension etc The girl sees his desire for a pre-nup as an insult, he doesn't trust her, he doesnt't trust himself not to be faithful." i agree pre-nupe could shadow later marriage life. however, above quotes hint the message that marriage is one of the ways for girls to get matetrial support. This is really an insult for the girls who do have the same ability as men to support themselves. "The fact is, we dont like making wills because then we have to think about the fact that we will die." mortality is scary. the high proportion of motivation of making wills is to avoid propertis taxed after death... |
| Jan 22, 2008 19:10 | #50 |
| "When a couple have equal financial assets, there is probably less need of a pre-nup, but when there is a greater difference then it is more prudent to make a pre-nup." I do think that marriage has nothing to do with the financial status of a couple. Why do you marry someone? It is because you love him/her. Love is a kind of concern and passion. Love does not equal money. Love is a matter of emotion or spirit, instead of material possession. If you love someone, you should love him/her for who he/she is. You should not care what he/she possess. If the material desire is excluded from love and marriage, there is no need to sign a pre-nup. |
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