| Chinese mens' views of love, friendship, etc. in marriage, etc. | |
|---|---|
| Feb 8, 2015 22:12 | #71   |
 | Wow! I hope you are good! I hope the family is also good! |
| Feb 8, 2015 22:25 | #72 |
| Sad! No Moral Strength. No Compassion for the Female species. The man will soon Lose everything! |
| Mar 25, 2015 10:25 | #73 |
| GUEST11769 | In my experience of knowing a Chinese man, I finally realized that he was trying to buy me while buying things for me and that buying me to him meant that he had rightsto me and even ownership as in possessive. He was incredulous that I was not interested no matter what he bought me. He used to literally demand affection from me. I told him you cannot buy affection. He had a certain amount of wealth and used to talk about people as his slaves. What is the name we use for people who are bought by other people? Slaves. It took me a while to put together what he was doing and what his thinking was and why he always had such a puzzled look on his face when I would tell him I did not want to be romantically involved with him. He was aggressive and persistent for over a year. I clearly stated my thoughts on the matter but he would not leave me alone. He started to order me around especially in front of his family or friends. He would tell me to do something then add you will just have to sacrifice. He would always try to sit right next to me to the point that I would have to move or put something like a pillow or tote bag on a couch for example between us. He tried to bully me into marrying him. It got to the point where I told him he was harassing me. Then he tried to tell me I was being clever and cunning by leading him on!!! That was infuriating and deceptive. I realized he was being deceptive and had started telling people he was going to marry me!! He acted like his paying for things meant he had bought me, so he owned me and he had rights to me. Even though it is not obvious to other people, I know him to be deceptive and untrustworthy, attempting to gain a relationship through false pretenses. I am not a Chinese woman but rather American born. |
| Jun 15, 2015 03:34 | #74 |
| GUEST52435 | Your last comments on the virtues of a man with a woman were so spot on I must thank you for saying them. |
| Jan 31, 2016 08:35 | #75 |
| GUEST16727 | I am going to marry to a Chinese man because I have serious personal issue. I told him that, he accept the fact and willing to deal with it. He is a handsome, well-educated and 7 years younger than me. but we do not love each other. How can I make my marriage work if we do not love each other? Thanks. |
| Feb 9, 2016 23:55 | #76 |
| GUESTIDIOT | I had a Chinese boyfriend who had lived in the US for 25 years. He seemed very caring, warm, and effectionate. After having known each other as friends for over a year and having been romantically involved for over 6 months, we started making plans to spend our lives together and had enjoyed many common interests. He insisted on meeting and did meet my parents, friends, and neighbors. Then he went out west to visit a very wealthy, single friend of his he had known since childhood who had homes in both China and the US. After he spent a weekend with him, he sent me a text telling me he had to go to China for 2 weeks on personal business. I had issues with this sudden mysterious necessity, but he insisted to me he was telling me the truth. We got into a bad argument about this because he had been away a lot and had promised to not be away as much..,now suddenly this mysterious "need"to go to China. If he had just told me he just wanted to go there, I think I would have dealt with it much better than what seemed obviously like a big lie. He did not care about his appearance at all normally, but stayed up until after midnight to dye his hair to cover his grey the nigh before he left on an early morning flight to China. Upon returning from China, he announced quite casually that he is applying for a job and wants to move there. He was offered the job in China, then broke up with me. But then found out he would not be able to leave for three months and insisted that we get back together because he claimed he loved me. I was stupid to believe him. He stayed at my house for about 6 weeks and sold his condo and car, etc.We had never spent more than a month together before he would take off and travel for a month as he worked in two separate states which were over 1000 miles apart (one being the state I live in). Before he moved in with me he promised he would stay with me the whole time before he had to leave for China...but he only stayed for 3 weeks at a time and gone for two weeks in between. He said he wanted me to come to live with him in China but I must find a professional job there (not just teaching English). I told him that will be a huge challenge as I do not speak fluent Chinese and am over 40. He said I must figure out how in order to save our relationship. He bought a ticket for me and paid for my visa to come visit him. I was quite reluctant as one might imagine,but I went. When I got there, I noticed that he never introduced me to a single friend or family member...even though they were very near where he lived as well as where we travelled to. I noticed that while in China he had published pics of his travels prior to my visit-though in the pics he was alone;but he did not publish any pics of even just himself on travels with me. He did arrange for our travels and paid for flights and train tickets. He changed his mind several times to whether he wants me to be with him.After I got back,I terminated all contact. |
| Feb 21, 2016 19:30 | #77 |
| GUEST89100 | I am a white American woman looking for a loving Chinese man. He must never hit me. Be kind and gentle with me at all times just as I would be with him. I live n the USA. I own my own home which is very nice. I was married to a Chinese man who I still love but he is killing my love. Chinese men are the most handsome men on earth. |
| Feb 24, 2016 19:48 | #78 |
| GUESTSKYLIMIT | How to know if chinese guy is serious to you? Thanks |
| Aug 27, 2016 22:04 | #79 |
| GUEST58165 | A few comments from a westerner being married to a Chinese man for many years; Chinese spend their youths studying incredibly hard, for gaokao and university, so rarely get to spend much time socialising with the opposite sex. In fact, they are actively discouraged from dating. Then, after completing studying there's suddenly a big rush to couple up and get married (especially for the girls, who don't want to end up as socially stigmatised "left over women"). Chinese guys therefore often come across as shy, in a way that may seem sweet and innocent to western girls. BUT, when married, things change. Chines men, especially from more traditional families, easily become controlling and possessive. China is a very patriarchal society and domestic abuse is an endemic problem, with the women receiving very little if any help from society or the legal system. Furthermore, China has a culture of adultery. More well off men often keep a mistress (ernai) and prostitution is extremely widespread. Then there's the infamous Chinese mother in law... I would strongly advice my fellow foreign girls out there to 1) not have children with a Chinese man (it will enable him to control you more than you can imagine) and 2) never move to China with him (you will have very poor prospects in case of a divorce, not to mention the legal process is in Chinese...) |
| Nov 7, 2016 00:26 | #80 |
| GUESTNASH37 | I got many bad situation with Chinese society, I have lived in different cities there , too much pressure on you, my chinese girlfriend used me as a robot just bring money for her shopping and makeup , clothes , cold in sex , cold in feeling , everyday quarrel, no respect , many time I had slept behind the door , because of her bad mood , and hard to find a girl who can understand you , believe me how much you respect how much you get hurt more .. I don't mean China is bad but society kind of wired |
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