| What do you think of 'marriage of convenience'? | |
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| Nov 28, 2007 01:46 |   |
 | What is 'marriage of convenience'? A marriage between two persons from similiar family backgrounds can be called 'marriage of convenience'. If a poor girl loves a rich man, their marriage is called 'morganatic marriage'. In ancient China, 'marriage of convenience' has played the dominant role in people's marriage concepts. Today, it seems that this concept has rarely appeared. But it does exist. Here is an example. Song Yang and Wang Lingyan have got engaged. But Xiao Wand is not so happy because she comes from countryside and his fiance was born in Hohehot. His parents are both professors in a university. They have bought a house for their son. Her fiance suggests her many times that she should prepare a car as her marriage portion since he has got their house. However, she and her parents can't afford to buy a car. What's more, it seems that her mother-in-law does not like very much because of her family background. Xiao Wang says that she is not confident about her marriage. If her parents in law look down her and do not like her, she would break up with her fiance. Why does Xiao Wang worry about her marriage? 'Marriage of convenience' . His BF's parents hope their son can find a girl who has similar familiy background with him. Are their parents wrong? Being parents, they hope their child can have a happy marriage. But should they stick to the rule 'marriage of convenience'? What do you think of it? Do you think 'morganatic marriage' can end happily? |
| Nov 28, 2007 09:21 | #1 |
| Marriage of convenience. Convenience to whom? I can't even think of it. I can't fathom it. I can't understand it. Is it really all about status or money? |
| Nov 28, 2007 11:27 | #2 |
| When I marry my gal it will be considered a "marriage of convenience" by many because it will allow her to immigrate to America. If I believed her only interest in our marriage was immigration to the US, I would not marry her. From a cynical point of view, are not all marriages a "marriage of convenience" in some way? The man gets something he wants and needs from his wife; and the woman gets something that she wants and needs from her husband. If couples did not provide each other some level of convenience wouldn't they just divorce? |
| Nov 28, 2007 16:51 | #3 |
| i'm ok with it. i'm just waiting for a very rich and very old man.... :-) i have asked my students before to describe their dream woman. One smart guy said," A woman who is very rich and very old." Yes, the value of practicality. |
| Nov 28, 2007 22:10 | #4 |
| Quote: Marriage of convenience. Convenience to whom? SHESGOTTOBE, Griz has answered this question----convenience to both sides. Money and status are not the most important, but they do have influence on your marriage. BBQQ told us a good example. Just imagine: You and your husband are from two different families. Your husband were born in a very rich family and he does not care buy anyting expensive or luxurious because he can afford them. However, you were born in a poor family and you have learned to save and be economical since you were very young. While you see your husband spend money randomly, what do you think? He is too extravagant. On contrary, he thinks that you do not know how to enjoy your life and you are too thrift. I guess that you quarrel many times on this. How can you live with him happily? |
| Nov 29, 2007 09:00 | #5 |
| Hi JimmyB! In this situation, it is a clash of personalities. No two people are alike so naturally there will be differences. It could be differences in other things as well, not just the difference in status. This time, it is a marriage between the spender and the saver. I know money is important and saving is important. However, at the same time, money is supposed to be spent. What else can you do with it? I guess what I am trying to say is make money, save money but use money to enjoy life as well. If it is true that we only live once, we might as well live life to the fullest. ;-) |
| Nov 29, 2007 09:36 | #6 |
| My theme is different. I guess rich or poor not a factor, first we should think, we are human or animal ? |
| Nov 29, 2007 19:57 | #7 |
| Quote: I guess rich or poor not a factor, first we should think, we are human or animal ? Lion, it is hard for me to understand your words. Can you explain it more clearly? Well, SHESGOTTOBE. I agree on what you said. However, there are some people who are very thrift and economical. They think that buying luxurious things is a waste. In daily life, they always try to save what should be saved. If you ask them to travel, they will tell you that it is very expensive and they won't. I met a couple who are in this situation. T |
| Nov 29, 2007 20:07 | #8 |
| Sorry, I picked 'Submit' icon but I have not finished my post. I met a couple who are in this situation. The guy have the same thought with you: money is supposed to be spent. However, his wife does not think so. She is very thrifty. They two quarrel with each other very often. How can they have a happy marriage? |
| Nov 30, 2007 08:29 | #9 |
| Reverse situation: The husband is rich but he got rich because he tried to save any money he could in his early years and was able to build a business. The wife was poor before so now, she starts to spend all the money for branded clothes, jewelry etc. She has that excited feeling about wealth because she never had it before. So it’s really not about who has the money but the attitude towards money. In the situation you presented, you have to ask, why does she wants to save anything that could be saved? What does she intends to do with the money that was saved? Could it be that she wanted for them to buy a house or a car or put up a business? They can’t have a happy marriage if they don’t share the same goals, don’t you think? Maybe they should have talked about their goals before they even got married. This is why I can’t understand how people can get married without knowing each other’s heart and soul. Maybe if the other party will just keep on agreeing, the marriage will last but that does not necessarily mean a happy marriage now, is it? It’s just an existing marriage, period. Anything too much is not good. Too much spending or too much saving is not good. There has to be some middle ground. People have to learn how to compromise and not be confrontational. I think bull-headed people are not happy and they can’t be happy unless they try to loosen up. But to compromise, you have to care about the other person first. And you can’t care if love doesn’t exist. There was a man here in America who worked and saved all his life. He lived in a simple house, no family (no heirs) and never bought anything luxurious. When he died, it was found out that he was able to save more than a million dollars. Maybe he was contented with his life. Or maybe I am being naïve but I just can’t see the point. |
| Nov 30, 2007 12:03 | #10 |
| I would suggest that the phrase 'marriage of convenience' has normally been used to mean marrying for some indirect, secondary or short term benefit, eg like Griz says, for a visa, or perhaps for tax reasons. Marrying for love, economic benefit or status, are considered 'normal' and not 'convenience'. |
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