| When should we get married? | |
|---|---|
| Jan 22, 2008 20:33 | #21   |
 | BBQQ and SHETGOTTOBE. Don't you notice that some old rich women also get married young boys? Is he a trophy husband? |
| Jan 23, 2008 19:56 | #22 |
| A trophy is a representation of one’s achievement. A trophy is usually displayed. Therefore, a trophy wife/husband/spouse exists based on what he/she represents, not necessarily because of age or status. They can be of the same age. The intention is to have someone to show off to boost one’s ego or standing in his/her circle. Not all couples with age and wealth gaps are like that. Many are well-intentioned relationships based on love. Now that I think about it, I don’t think there are many rich older women who are married to younger men, not the wide age gaps that you usually see between older men and younger women. Do you know of any? Only ones I know are celebrities. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Demi is 15 years older.  |
| Jan 23, 2008 19:57 | #23 |
| Tina Turner and Erwin Bach, a German record company executive who is 16 years younger than Tina. Though they are not married, they’ve been together for 21 years now. |
| Jan 25, 2008 19:30 | #24 |
| Maybe we should also consider when NOT to get married. A young lady I know wants to marry to get away from her parents. Another will marry because her parents told her too (though Chinese law forbids forced marriage) Many friends want to get married because they feel they are getting old (in their low to mid 20's) and soon no-one will want them. These do not seem good reasons for marriage, to me |
| Jan 27, 2008 20:09 | #25 |
| "Many friends want to get married because they feel they are getting old (in their low to mid 20's) and soon no-one will want them." Paul, traditional Chinese think that it is too late to get married at mid 20s for girls, especially above 25. BTW, do you know a Chinese idiom---成家立业? In English, it means 'to get married and start a career. Please notice the order '成家' is in front of '立业'. You see, getting married is the most important thing. "These do not seem good reasons for marriage, to me." What do you think are good reasons for marriage, Paul? |
| Jan 28, 2008 18:59 | #26 |
| Marriage is a serious contract. You don’t enter a contract just because you are getting old (desperate), just because somebody told you to (helpless), or you are running away from something (scared). There’s the tendency to grab just about anyone just to get married, and then regret it. However, wrong reason or not, it’s a choice, therefore should be respected. It is up to the individual to live with the consequences. |
| Jan 28, 2008 20:33 | #27 |
| Kevin, your interpretation of 成家立业 is very interesting. Actually, people have discussed this issue for a long time. To get married first or start career first? If you choose to start your career first, that means you focus all your strength and attention to your business. When you have achieved something and decide to get married, you notice that you are old. Which do you choose first? |
| Jan 29, 2008 19:32 | #28 |
| To start my career first? There is another saying---“大丈夫何患无妻”. It means that men will finally find his wife. For men, starting his own career should be the priority. |
| Jan 30, 2008 19:28 | #29 |
| Frank, the situation is different now. Haven't you heard that there will be 30 million bachelors by 2020? You know what it means. To start a career is important but finding a wife can't be ignored. Why not find a girl who would like to start your career together? |
| Jan 31, 2008 22:07 | #30 |
| Well, Jimmyb. Don't you notice that girls are fond of successful and mature men? So, Frank. Don't worry about it. If you succeed in your career, you will have many choices. |
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