When should we get married?

When should we get married?
Feb 4, 2008 10:47	#31
APAULT Points: Join Date: Mar 11, 2006 Status: Offline	Sorry kevin, I am slow replying. I don't believe that there are any inherently good or bad reasons for marrying. It depends on you basic ideas. It depends on your culture and the extent that you wish to followits rules; because you want to do what your parents say; is love important to you or perhaps financial security is important; for others, though they might not be openly aware of it are the genes of the other person - will he/she help you produce strong offspring; it gets you a visa; their are tax advantages. I married because I was about to start a job overseas. My girlfriend could only get a visa if we married, so we did! If there had not been this consideration we might or might not have married. In the western world many people are not marrying in a formal sense. Marriage has two threads in western society, religious and legal. If you are not religipus that leave the legal aspects. In many countries the law treats formally married and 'de facto' couples the same so there is no reason to marry. In fact logically, it then makes no sense to marry as unmarryinging (!) should that situation arise, requires more legal process and cost!! In NSW, Australia (at least) there is another reason why some people decide not to marry. Some couple want a pre-nuptual agreement that is a contract setting out the rules for dividing their wealth in the event of separation. But as the law stands (or stood, as it might have changed lately), such a contract is not valid for married couples but only for unmarried couples!! OK, some might criticise my 'lack of romance' in my answer, others might pick on the collapse of civilised life and morality in the west. Fair enough!

Feb 4, 2008 10:47

#31

APAULT
Points:
Join Date: Mar 11, 2006
Status: Offline

Sorry kevin, I am slow replying. I don't believe that there are any inherently good or bad reasons for marrying. It depends on you basic ideas. It depends on your culture and the extent that you wish to followits rules; because you want to do what your parents say; is love important to you or perhaps financial security is important; for others, though they might not be openly aware of it are the genes of the other person - will he/she help you produce strong offspring; it gets you a visa; their are tax advantages.

I married because I was about to start a job overseas. My girlfriend could only get a visa if we married, so we did! If there had not been this consideration we might or might not have married.

In the western world many people are not marrying in a formal sense. Marriage has two threads in western society, religious and legal. If you are not religipus that leave the legal aspects. In many countries the law treats formally married and 'de facto' couples the same so there is no reason to marry. In fact logically, it then makes no sense to marry as unmarryinging (!) should that situation arise, requires more legal process and cost!! In NSW, Australia (at least) there is another reason why some people decide not to marry. Some couple want a pre-nuptual agreement that is a contract setting out the rules for dividing their wealth in the event of separation. But as the law stands (or stood, as it might have changed lately), such a contract is not valid for married couples but only for unmarried couples!!

OK, some might criticise my 'lack of romance' in my answer, others might pick on the collapse of civilised life and morality in the west. Fair enough!

Feb 4, 2008 21:10

#32

KEVIN0518
Points:
Join Date: Mar 13, 2007
Status: Offline

Quote:"It depends on you basic ideas. It depends on your culture and the extent that you wish to followits rules; because you want to do what your parents say; is love important to you or perhaps financial security is important; for others, though they might not be openly aware of it are the genes of the other person - will he/she help you produce strong offspring; it gets you a visa; their are tax advantages."

You are right, Paul. You have the final say on your marriage and different people have different reasons to get married, some for money, some for children. On the other hand, your culture has great influence on you. For me, love is definitely important but financial security is necessary because I don't want my future wife to live with me in a shelter.

Oct 28, 2008 04:11

#33

GUESTLADYEOWYN

I am 33 years old now, a lady. For most people, it is a bit too late to be married at 30s. And some may call us spinsters? But, heck, who cares. I am still single, I enjoyed my singlehood, so much more to do although I am quite ready to give up all those to settle down with a man I love and loves me - a lifetime commitment!

I have never regretted for not getting married earlier, in fact I am grateful for all those times and freedom I had. I would like to settle down now, but unless I find the one I willingly commit my lifetime to, I won't lower my standard for the man I choose to spend my life with. Marriage can be heaven if you make the right decision and can be hell if it is with the wrong person. So, rather than staying in hell for life, better to stay here on earth...

Oct 28, 2008 18:31	#34
SHESGOTTOBE Points: Join Date: Nov 23, 2007 Status: Offline	I'm with you, Guestlady. If you are so desperate to get married that you'd grab just about anyone just to be called a married woman, you're only hurting yourself. Other people will not come to your rescue if you end up being miserable.

Nov 4, 2008 19:54	#35
HUAMULAN Points: Join Date: Oct 28, 2008 Status: Offline	I'm ready to settle down now.. I don't want to end up as a lonely old lady but only if I find someone right will I marry him. Otherwise I don't mind waiting.

Nov 5, 2008 03:03

#36

WANHU
Points:
Join Date: Feb 20, 2007
Status: Offline

Sometimes people say marriage is a gamble. I got married at the age of 25, and she too was 25, only four months my senior. She's a Taurus and I'm a Leo. In my society it's the prime age for marriage (25-30). I learnt to love her as time went by until she became part of my life, and never cease to love her.

We have to work hard for marriage to make it a success. Do not let trivial matters cloud our thinking and actions. Need to always remind us that she is someone's daughter (whose mother had sacrificed her life, time and wealth to upbring her, cared for her) and our responsibility to provide her shelter, food and clothings, with love. I am sure, we would want at least the same treatment for our daughter,

Nov 6, 2008 10:21	#37
LIONPOWER Points: Join Date: Dec 11, 2006 Status: Offline	Well said, WanHu

Nov 6, 2008 22:14	#38
JIMMYB Points: Join Date: Feb 7, 2007 Status: Offline	Wanhu, you are really a good husband. Your wife are the happiest woman in the world because she has a good husband.

Nov 7, 2008 21:12

#39

WANHU
Points:
Join Date: Feb 20, 2007
Status: Offline

Thank you to both Lion and Jimmy. I try my best to discharge my responsibility. Well Jimmy, if I may add, we have to be honest to ourselves as well as to others. Marriage is a life commitment, and will be judged for our actions. If you are marrying please remember that you have two families, your family and your wife's. Understand and treat them with respect. Your wife leaves her family to live with you, understand her, and treat her well, her happiness is your happiness and her sadness is your sadness. Then you will know how beautiful a married life is.

Nov 10, 2008 03:34	#40
KUNGFUPANDA Points: Join Date: Aug 12, 2008 Status: Offline	Marriage is a life commitment, and will be judged for our actions. Well said, Wanhu. Marriage is a life commitment and we need to fulfill it throughout our lives. Wanhu, may I know that if your wife share the same values with you?

Page 4 of 5 < Previous Next > Page:

Post a Reply to: When should we get married?