| Do you agree that most competent and successful women are unlucky in their family life? | |
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| Dec 15, 2007 01:53 |   |
 | Most friends around me think that women shouldn't be more capable than her husband, or they will live a hard family life. What about your ideas? |
| Dec 15, 2007 11:36 | #1 |
| 80 % yes , 15% No and 5 % neutral. |
| Dec 15, 2007 21:39 | #2 |
| To be a competent and successful women, you are sure to sacrifice something. Family life is the sacrifice. Have you noticed that most competent and successful women are still single? |
| Dec 15, 2007 23:01 | #3 |
| Maybe it depends on their attitude. Do they work to live and put family first? Or do they live to work and put family second to have their success? If they put family second then they get what they want. You cannot always "have your cake and eat it too." |
| Dec 16, 2007 19:31 | #4 |
| Hmm…I could have sworn I saw a thread with the same title before. ^_^” To answer the question: No. Not necessarily. I know so many successful women around me who’ve been married for at least 25 years and still counting. I think it is because they have confident husbands, meaning their husbands are not in any way feel threatened/intimidated by their successful wives. I also know women who worked while their husbands are going to school to study law or get their masters degree. I work with one woman who holds a very important position but she would not hesitate to leave early or take a day off if it concerns her family. She has 3 college kids. I’ve always wondered how she’s doing it until I met her very supportive husband. I also work with another family man who has a very supportive working wife. The whole family including their grandchildren and great grandparents go on vacation for a week every year. It guess it boils down to supporting each other to be the best that they can be and that is only possible if there is real love in the first place. It’s like a team working for a common goal. Not only is it easier but it comes naturally to support someone you love. It also depends on the society’s general attitude towards working women. I think the problem starts when some people forget that work is just a way to make a living. There are some men who are so engrossed in their jobs (working 14-16 hours a day, including weekends) that their children barely know them. By the time their kids are grown up, their kids treat them with cold shoulders because the fathers are virtually strangers. Is it really the success that destroys relationships or is it the attitude and character of the individuals involved? Some people are just not capable of handling their success while others feel tremendous insecurity around success. ^_^ |
| Dec 17, 2007 09:01 | #5 |
| I think the problem starts when some people forget that work is just a way to make a living. There are some men who are so engrossed in their jobs (working 14-16 hours a day, including weekends) that their children barely know them. By the time their kids are grown up, their kids treat them with cold shoulders because the fathers are virtually strangers. I think used to be my problem and why my marraige failed, I'm down to 60 hours a week now, Monday to Friday but the it could have been 100 + hours, I will never again will I make that mistake. Alan |
| Dec 17, 2007 19:44 | #6 |
| I’m sorry to hear that, Alan. But your Jing is very lucky! Not many men can admit to what you just said. I guess we all learn from our mistakes. Things should be better this time. ^_^ |
| Dec 18, 2007 01:07 | #7 |
| I go alone with Mr LP. Shesgottobe, makes a lot of sense. |
| Dec 18, 2007 11:16 | #8 |
| Yes, there was a time I worked long days seven days a week. Still would be, but I have learnt to say no. My ex says it was the biggest reason for our divorce. Although I can find other reasons, can´t say it was not. Sometimes there were many days not seeing kids at all; they were sleeping when I went to work, sleeping when I came back. To be a careerwoman is a full time job. It is far more difficult for a woman to build a career than it is to a man. It is not enough that a woman proves she is good at her job, she must also be much better than men. No wonder if careerwomen must leave their family to the second place. Like Shesgottobe said, in that case it is important that she has a supporting and understanding husband. Otherwise divorce lurks around the corner. I think it is about the same with careermen, too. They too must have supporting wife at home. For many men, I think, is difficult to live in situation where wife earns much more than husband. That might course some problems, too. Carlos |
| Dec 18, 2007 20:12 | #9 |
| Quote: For many men, I think, is difficult to live in situation where wife earns much more than husband. That might course some problems, too. For men, they wouldn't like to depend on women. Otherwise, they will be looked down by others. In a traditional Chinese family, man should work outside to support his family. Woman's responsibility is to take care of her husband, child and home. I just want to know if there are some males who do not mind her wife earning much more than him. |
| Dec 19, 2007 11:34 | #10 |
| "I just want to know if there are some males who do not mind her wife earning much more than him." I don´t mind. As long as I earn well enough. If I were in a situation where my wife really would earn our living while I would earn not enough to take care for my family, that might be a ghost under my bed. Carlos |
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