| "Marry me? buy a house for me first." | |
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| Aug 17, 2008 15:40 | #21   |
 | Guest 41205, you sound very bitter. You said "You foreigners should not bring your own cultural views and standard to this country. This is the practice in China and there is a background to it. So shut up and stop using all those words to describe the situation here, ok ? I suggest you listen, ask and maybe learn something from here to broaden your views. This is something quite unique to China whether you like it or not. Why do you try to impose your culture on foreigners??? Yet many of you want to marry and live with foreigners. You try and in many cases succeed imposing your culture on some dumb foreigners. You should take your own advice and BROADEN YOUR VIEWS. Why aren't you signed on with a name?? More on Dumb Foreigners at another time and thread. |
| Sep 2, 2008 17:21 | #22 |
| I'd like to hear more of what is normal or expected in China. I've heard the man bringing a house, I've heard the parents giving a house. I've heard the couple working together. Is it the blatant request or expectation that scares some off? If you are choosing the person you want to spend the rest of your life together I hope you are providing a home and building it together. Maybe big, maybe small. Maybe parents help. Maybe the man is the breadwinner who brings it. Maybe the couple chooses the house and works together to make it happen. Doesn't sound much different than in the west to me....but on this thread there seems to be a lot of fear that someone will be taken advantage of. For me, I'd like to know more of the Chinese history, view and expectations, where they are different and why....the differences can't only be due to gold diggers....can the Chinese posters help enlighten me more....it would make it easier for me to put in perspective what is culture and what is unreasonable Thanks. |
| Sep 3, 2008 10:49 | #23 |
| Chinese people seek Stability,Wow! its apparent that other cultures are seeking the same things as Chinese.There are no differences in what people seek in life where one culture and one society can lay claim to being the only things which mean security,and a future. When you seperate these worldly possessions of Love and needs,and given the idea,that only the Chinese wish to have these values,means some-one must return to school or turn in their Masters Degree. Most importantlly they may need an Attitude Adjustment.Is there anyone who can believe that its not true ,in the other cultures.Chinese do not have DIBBS on security and the values in life. I have no time now. Will return later. Bye Bye!!! And you are wrong,in China a house ownership is more than life to a man and women,and they must have this value and a place to live in late life,after retirement. Contradiction,not really!!! |
| Sep 6, 2008 11:38 | #24 |
| Candon, A reply to your post would take hours to write and pages & pages which this forum could not accommodate. Foreigners believe that Westerners are all Rich. Their impression comes from movies, rumors, seeing foreigners on vacation. Comparing themselves to the westerner is the icing on the cake. Let's not forget that many westerners are "show-offs" which piles on more of the rich impression. Many western men go East to find a wife, their reasons are too numerous to go into here. Most of their reasoning is wrong so that many of their "quickie" marriages do not last long. I can recommend a website for you to read about marriage etc., but will not post it here. If you're interested send me a MSG and I will be happy to send it to you. |
| Sep 9, 2008 05:01 | #25 |
| oh cut the crap, as much as i respect chinese traditions and culture, the respect for the family, if a woman can't stand up to her family and say, "hey im marrying this man whether you like it or not because it's my life", and try to convince them, what's the point of love and marrying the man of your life? Blind obedience and standing up for your future happiness are two different issues. If a woman can't sacrifice a fight with the family to tell them you are the man she wants, why marry her? What difference does it make to marry HER and marrying a mannequin? |
| Sep 16, 2008 02:28 | #26 |
| GUESTJORDAN | But Girls or Boys we are all missing the cutiest thing - they spent 2 years together and he bought a diamond ring!!! This is the way you suppose to merry a white girl and he received a chinese answer. It is their problem that they messed the cultures up. First you should talk about it and then find the solution. Both parts played their role ;)))correctly. And thanks God I was born in Europe cause my father didnt have any ring at all, no mention the house the unfamiliar reader will understand - you buy her a diomond, she wants a house, you buy her a house - she wants plane :) Hope the asian girls stop being so 'greedy', stop for a second listen to their hearts not to their pockets. |
| Sep 16, 2008 03:34 | #27 |
| I would say "yes" and take the ring from her, go to the nearest store selling monopoly. Purchase a set, you would be found and able to give her not only the houses but also the car, monies... |
| Sep 16, 2008 04:30 | #28 |
| GUEST4251 | In Asian culture, men are supposed to breadwinners. There is nothing wrong when a girl demands a house before marriage. |
| Sep 16, 2008 04:58 | #29 |
| GUEST6282 | Hmmm, that is unfair. Wait! Now I know why I am always crossed in love. I insist that girls should make efforts together with their boyfriends to buy their house. However, it seems that no girl agrees with me. So I am still single. |
| Sep 26, 2008 08:34 | #30 |
| If I am gonna marry a man who i appreciated,house is a peice of cake,,if i am gonna marry a man who i marry because of just"marry",a house is required |
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