| "Marry me? buy a house for me first." | |
|---|---|
| Sep 27, 2008 10:36 | #31   |
 | I don't understand how people can marry someone they do not love for the sake of a house. How can you give your body and soul to someone who doesn't make your heart pound just because he provided you a house? Isn't that like prostituting yourself? |
| Sep 27, 2008 18:55 | #32 |
| Shesgottobe, Perhaps its hard for you to understand because of the cultural pressures associated with marriage in China and Chinese families living abroad. A common question a distant relative may ask you after a long absence away in college would be "How is school going" where as a Chinese relative may ask "When will you marry". Pressure to marry is always around the corner, whenever I speak of financial matters (moving to another home) or career related (What kind of project I am working on), my parents always make sure that I keep in mind that I have to get married soon (Making sure home is not too small and that working too much will make wife sad) Which is where arranged marriages comes into play. Some parents still believe in that type of marriage, slapping two strangers together believing it will work out, and for a girl to require the husband to have a house is very savvy decision because, would you marry a man who wanted you to sign a prenuptial agreement? |
| Sep 27, 2008 19:05 | #33 |
| "...and for a girl to require the husband to have a house is very savvy decision because, would you marry a man who wanted you to sign a prenuptial agreement?" I am not a fan of prenups but if it states that I get to keep what's mine sounds good to me. :P *snicker* |
| Oct 8, 2008 13:57 | #34 |
| After I married in China, my wife asked me to "buy a house" for her parents. I view the house as an investment. I bought a brand new "house" (a house in China is more like an american condominium) and her parents are furnishing it. In China, furnishing a house means a great deal more, it includes heat/AC units, sinks, commodes, etc., besides articles of furniture and window dressings. The house is in my and my wife's name, not her parents. So we got an immediate increase in terms of the 20% the parents spent furnishing the house. Additionally, the house increased in value from 3500yuan/sq.meter to 3700/sq.meter the first month we had it. Her parents are 80 & 78 years old, so they may live in that house paying only their utilities for a decade or even more before they have to move in with one of their kids, but I believe it's a good investment in both financial and ethical terms. I'm also going to start a post on this one. |
| Oct 19, 2008 15:17 | #35 |
| GUEST25169 | PYGRANT, if what you say is completely true, you have done a wonderful thing. Your wife must feel/know you have lots of money. Why don't you also pay the utilities? At there ages, they probably will not live 10 years. |
| Oct 19, 2008 20:04 | #36 |
| PYGRANT, let 78 &80 pay furnishing fees for your investment, maintain your home for free, you are a business man rather than a son-in law. Hope family codes in China will be modified addressing this case. |
| Oct 21, 2008 00:00 | #37 |
| GUESTWISE | SO, it is not such a ridiculous idea for girls to ask a suitor. If he is truly sincere in his intention to marry her and provide for her, he should buy her a house (fully paid of course!). Put your money when you mouth your "i-love-you" - (talk is cheap). A relationship that prioritizes "love" is a relationship build on loose sand. Other attributes such as RESPECT, TRUST, RESPONSIBILITY, DUTY, HONOR must all be in place first in order that "LOVE" can flourish - then "LOVE" would be build on a solid foundation. In providing a house for his 'love', he would be showing that he is a sincere and responsible person. |
| Apr 15, 2009 13:07 | #38 |
| GUEST97126 | then you don't really love him..... you are a gold digger |
| Apr 15, 2009 13:31 | #39 |
| GUESTICHIBAN | Guestwise, I'm a very rich guy and I'm willing to buy a house for my wife..... but I will expect her to cook clean and wash for me. I'm a man and I pay for the house, so she must do what a woman does... Clean!!! I will still go out and cheat on her while her is at home..... I will cheat many times... Buts its all okay.... because she has the house that she wanted and she is secure. Wow how great love is ? |
| Apr 20, 2009 08:47 | #40 |
| GUEST11696 | cultural difference, totally. by the way, not mostly chinese girl like this. at least,not mostly chinese girl i know``` |
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