| Why do overseas Chinese men seldom marry western women? | |
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| Apr 8, 2009 23:48 | #131   |
| GUEST17685 | There are tons of American Males in China able to date and marry Chinese women, in fact, I'm told that Chinese women throw themselves at them. However, there is a huge lack of Western female and Chinese males. Why is that? I don't know, I can't generalize, but I've heard that many Western females just doesn't find ANY Chinese guys attractive. The keyword is ANY, so out of the millions of Chinese males in any city, there is not ONE Chinese guy that is attractive. So this means, it just comes down to one thing: How do you see them (Chinese guys) as human beings?? There you go, that's what it comes down to. Because if you see somebody a certain way, that's what they will be to you regardless of what they're really like. If the western females think that Chinese guys can't dress....then that's what it will be no matter what they have on. They could be wearing the nicest clothes that fit, but it won't matter a bit. They already have their minds made up, it's all preconceived notions. If you have look at things in a negative way, then that's what you will see, no matter what. And I believe that's how it is, and quite frankly, I don't know if it can be fixed right now in society. Sure there have been improvements, but there is also a very strong resistance to this type of relationship....who knows why. |
| Apr 12, 2009 11:14 | #132 |
| GUESTCAMERON | You got it all wrong. It's not that we can't dress (not when I get hit on at a swimming pool wearing nothing) and you don't speak for every western woman. I get along with them romanticly all the time. I won't lie, the 1st generation chinese males who study abroad are ugly to me, it might have something to do with it. I heard how because of communism and having to prep to fight in the military,(they need fighters and men, and women to behave like men) they discuraged sex and as a result no education and sex hardly happened so when they married there wasn't a lot of sexual selection. This was a CBC documentary about a sexual revolution going on in China right now(because they didn't know about sex back then, thought hugging was sex) and how they need sex ed cuz they don't use condoms. That can mess up attractive males from being born, females too (honesty they are ugly compared to what i'm used to) Look if you look decent, you need to know how to date, you need to know how to be a man, something that communist leaders might have messed up. Its not the money, you can chase that shit all you want till you are 50. Its not that much looks or dress either, just be clean. Its how you make women feel. If you scare her, she will be afraid. That is your power, feelings. If she likes you its because of a feeling. What makes her feel that way, you have to find out yourself. How does money make you feel guys, not that great. I needed to learn all that stuff that I don't see a lot of foreigners understanding. Places like Hong Kong where the people are still free from Communism might not have these problems, the southern chinese men are more attractive... I don't know why. (maybe the unsensored cough cough media shows the attractive ones and thats all I see in hong kong.) I really don't know what goes on in China cuz my family moved out 100 years ago to some other place that had a war so here I am in Canada. I know there are a few issues like chinese males(china) sometimes think they are superior to everything so that affects first generation chinese male's choice of women. Well now there are less females so some will never marry because you chose messed up and those women don't even want to get married. Point is don't get all superior cuz feminist and sex revol will screw you. Stereotypes, I have to live through discrimination growing up( I was a loud kid and I noticed my non loud chinese friend wasn't getting picked on) and stuff but open minded women are plentiful and the non open minded ones can eventually see who you are. I think at one point in my life a black female wrote to me about being sorry for meanness(I think it was racism) and mentioned something about not knowing who i'd become(what she sees). Last thing I want to get at is, there are sexy asian guys who can date whoever they want but they are never in western media portrayed as sexy except a little here. http://www.youtube.com/ |
| Apr 12, 2009 12:08 | #133 |
| GUESTCAMERON | I think my long post didn't get through. I'm not making any excuses this is my take on it and its a little controversial or mean. I can handle it. 1.Overseas chinese men. It depends on what generation. Communist china discouraged sex so they had no idea what it was and thought hugging was it. When marriage did happen it wasn't because of sexual attraction so they were making some really ugly people because they needed men and women to behave like men for the army(some people say country side people are ugly, my ancestors must have come from there too but sexual selection probably made me attractive). That's what I got from a cbc documentary about the sexual revolution going on in china right now. If you don't know what sex is you sure as hell don't know what dating is. You top that with choosing male instead of female babies and you now don't have enough women for your men to marry and they are ugly as well as the revolution that is giving women more power so they don't even want marriage. All that is not good when you are bred ugly, clueless about women and a 1st gen foreigner of that generation of chinese with cultural and social akwardness. Some have a male superiority complex and a chinese superiority complex as well as family acceptance problems.(chinese women better? well not if they don't exist, family acceptance of other ethnicity? well not happening if you got superiority complex or close-minded.) 2.The chinese men from other places like the south or vietnam and hong kong, mau cau, tai wan, etc. They are much more attractive and mostly I only know of 2nd generation types. These men still don't get taught about women, dating, or manhood, so its rough for us(its suppose to be really new to a lot of us, and no dating until after college rule bs). It's men who are suppose to go after women so when things work against us what do you expect. I'm the type who can probably choose from at least 20 attractive women to date. I don't know about my fellow men, but if they don't got it then trouble...in the marriage department. We like our chinese women too because it feels right and we are socially oblivious when it comes to western or white women that are open to dating. My family is 100 years removed from china and I was a nerd jock growing up. I seem to be fine except was a little oblivious to women. I feel like I should marry an asian girl(as an attractive male who can probably lead us) because I need to stand up for my minority that gets discrimination and racism. At the same time there are white washed asian women who could give a rats ass and chinese men who mistake me for something else and discriminate against me so i'm on my own and interested in other. |
| Apr 13, 2009 21:01 | #134 |
| GUEST16383 | I am engaged to a Chinese man that I met while in Shanghai. I am an American, born in Los Angeles, and I am not white (please remember that not all Americans are white). Actually, I am of Samoan descent and am definitely not petite. I'm not obese, either. Maybe the correct word is "solid". I have met many Chinese men in China and they weren't bothered by my larger frame at all. In fact, some of them rather like it. I guess it isn't that strange, because the Chinese have been in the South Pacific islands for some time now, but even my mother admits that we look unusual together. :) My relationship with my fiance is wonderful except for one thing, and that would be his mother. We had a wedding party (like a wedding, just without "making it official") in China last summer so his family could be included. It was the best solution we could think of because we wanted to leave as few people out as possible. Anyway, his mother skipped the tea ceremony and refused to even look at us at the banquet after she arrived late. She refused to bless us and left early. To this day, I do not know exactly what the problem was, but I can see how parental pressure can deter a Chinese man from marrying outside the culture because it is his responsibility to carry on the family name. I guess part of the problem is that she didn't want "mixed" grandchildren with the family name and maybe other Chinese men face similar pressures. Thank God her behavior upset my fiance (as well as the other relatives that were present) and it didn't stop him from still wanting a relationship with me, but after that wedding I was terrified. I really thought he would leave me out of a sense of feeling obligated to his family. |
| Apr 22, 2009 14:40 | #135 |
| GUEST22140 | a better question would be: why do white American women have a negative view of Asian men, when it comes to dating? |
| Apr 22, 2009 23:14 | #136 |
 | I stronglly believe that the reason is about the figure differences. |
| Apr 23, 2009 20:54 | #137 |
| GUEST12258 | the reason white girls in the USA have a negative view of asian guys, is because of the negative portrail of asian men, in the american media and hollywood. on the flip side, asian girls are given a very positive view by the american media and hollywood. thus, asian girls are chased after by white american guys. |
| Apr 24, 2009 02:46 | #138 |
| GUEST67139 | I would think that the features that make Asian women attractive, make Asian men unattractive. In general Asian men tend to be small and have feminine features, something most American women find unattractive. Full grown Asian men often look as if they were only 13 or 14 years of age. I have met a few Asian men who are handsom, but not many. I dont think Asian men abuse their wives anymore then other men, but they are often rather inconsiderate. I have to go to HK several times a year to purchase merchandise. The cases generally weigh about 60 to 80 pounds and its VERY common for Asian men to ask there wives to unload the cases into our car. These poor girls only weigh about 80 pounds themselves. In the mean time, their husbands are sitting on there rears in their offices. Even when its obvious that there wive can barely move the stuff, they just turn a blind eye. |
| Apr 27, 2009 00:14 | #139 |
| GUEST81228 | People do not know what they do not know. American women who have dated Asian men know something that those who have not dated Asian men do not realize; Asian men are fantastic! Asian men who want to date American women have the opportunity date countless American women; unfortunately, they frequently abstain. They too, do not know what they do not know. |
| Apr 28, 2009 22:31 | #140 |
| GUESTOCCAPEFES | Hi! I'm looking for a LDS online dating site. I haven't been able to find many. I've found some christian dating sites, but I was wondering if there were any sites that were geared towards Later Day Saints religion. It's hard to find a lot of other LDS online daters wanting to chat - at least, I haven't been able to. Does anyone know of any? Like I said, I've tried some christian ones, but not really what I'm looking for. I really hope they're out there! If not a dating site, perhaps any type of chat or group related to LDS. thanks! |
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