| Why do overseas Chinese men seldom marry western women? | |
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| May 27, 2009 17:13 | #151   |
| GUEST63108 | Hi I work in a chinese take out and I really like one of the chefs who works there, we just seem to connect in some way like when he smiles, the only problem is he hardly speaks english and I don't even know if he would like an english girl i dont know how to move this forward any advice would be great as I personally find asian men very attractive!! my hot chef especially :P |
| May 29, 2009 01:45 | #152 |
| GUEST24717 | To GUEST63108 ( How to date the Chinese chef). Everyone hates to be rejected, I have been rejected so many times by Asian girls and white girls until I found my wife, it is a good match finally. I have got used to my wife is taller than me, . Language is not a problem. culture is. That's why sometimes Asian guys and white girls are not connected. For your case, you should ask him to cook for you in your home or backyard or your friend's party , since he is so good at cooking, So it can boost his confidence up to ask you out. Also if he always looks at you, and want to know more about you, it means he likes you. Spending more time with him you will find out. He may not ask you out (because he thought it would be shot down by you, why bother trying). Asian guys are good husbands, I don't know think they are good boy friends (not romantic, like my wife says about me, but I am learning. you know), because they are thinking who take care the famiy are good husbands, white girls wants the guy to show more love ( honey, sweetie on your mouth all the time). I always thought white girls were rough ( normally they are taller than Asian girls), sex hungering, sleeping around slut (sorry, I don't mean that, just want to show my point), party girls etc, After I dated Australian, German , American girls , I found out white girls are actually very gentle and softhearted just like Asian girls. So move forward and see what happened, maybe people are not what you think when you know them more. I hope this will help. Good luck ! |
| May 30, 2009 16:29 | #153 |
| GUEST10926 | Thanks alot for your reply! I think to really move forward I am going to have to learn Mandarin I already know a fair bit of Cantonese but he doesn't speak it :( and as for chinese culture I prefer it to my own in some ways. His english is so limited though and things are complicated as i am really close to my bosses family and I don't know how they would feel about me dating one of their chefs especially when they want me to focus on my studies! Argh so frustrated!!! |
| Jun 2, 2009 22:35 | #154 |
| GUEST24717 | Man, if you are so young , you should focus on your study. Forget dating .. :) |
| Jun 4, 2009 06:55 | #155 |
| GUEST77789 | There have been a couple of reasons stated repeatedly on this thread as to why western women tend to not find men attractive, and though they may seem harsh, they are true. Let me just list the most prominent ones for clarification: 1. Looks (or rather the way they dress) 2. Manners/being respectful of women 3. height (body size) 4. shyness On the other hand, none of these factors are unchangeable. #1. In the looks department, it is not so much a matter of Chinese guys not looking good, but rather that they just don't know how to dress. Now anyone of any ethnicity looks bad if they're wearing a ragged shirt and stained trousers with messy, oily hair. The rise in economic wealth and overall standard of living, as well as more exposure to western cultural norms and fashion, will manage to change this impression over time (i'd say another 2 or 3 generations) #2. As for having bad manners and low respect for women, well educated men from Hong Kong and Taiwan, as well as from large metropolitan cities like Beijing and Shanghai do not treat women with disrespect. Despite the image of all chinese men as being bad-mannered and disrespectful, respectful and educated men do exist, though they are for now the minority (only around 10% are college educated or higher....hey it's still a developing country). As the country gets wealthier, becomes more modernized, and more people become educated, their manners and attitude towards women will undoubtedly change #3. Height/body size is also not a permanent impediment to the pairing of Chinese men with Western women. Might i remind everyone that the Dutch were known as the "lilliputs of europe" in the 1800s, standing at just under 5' 5' (around 166cm) average for men. Now they average the tallest people in the world, with men slightly taller than 6ft. A large part of this height increase had to do with better living conditions, better nutrition (protein rich), plentiful sleep and excercise, etc. China is still a developing country with a massive population, and naturally the average Chinese doesn't get as nutritious of a diet as their European or American counterparts. However with the increased standard of living, height is increasing, as urban male youths in China now stand at around 5' 8", just an inch or two under the American and European male average. As physical education becomes more prolific (gyms are springing up in major cities), the average physical size and fitness of Chinese men will increase as well. #4. Lastly, the shyness part is perhaps the Chinese man's largest obstacle right now. But once again, shyness is not a permanent trait. One can learn to be confident, and as China's economic and social status rises, so will the confidence and worldliness of it's men. |
| Jun 5, 2009 18:10 | #156 |
 | GUEST77789 , whatever you said, body size and manners are floating on the surface to measure a man. Attitudes to life, to career, to diificulties, showing sympaty and willpower to accomplish, etc i believe can assess a man and time will tell as well. |
| Jun 6, 2009 18:56 | #157 |
| GUESTGUEST007 | When was the last time anyone saw an Asian male kiss a white women on TV or film (besides Dragon: the Bruce Lee Story). Yet, white men flirt and kiss/have sex (real or referred to) quite frequently, with notable recent examples being Chuck and Larry, and Live Free or Die Hard (Maggie Q is half Vietnamese). 4) In the mass media, Asian girls are hypersexualized, passive and submissive housewives, and always obedient. Asian girls are depicted as sexually available to white men. Asian girls are exotic geisha china dolls eager to sexually please their white samurais. The white man always gets his Asian girl (The Last Samurai), but the Asian dude never gets any girl. How does this translate into higher AF/WM couples? Very simple. It tells white men that they need to do very little to curry the attention of white worshipping Asian girls. "The Asian girl will always go out with you," is what Hollywood is implying. White men are therefore much more confident when speaking to an Asian girl than if he were to talk to a white woman. The white man thinks to himself, "I got this Asian girl in the bag." Simply put, Asian dudes need to get off of the reservation. Put down the stupid XBOX controls and hit the gym. An earlier poster said it well; white boys begin to hit on girls as soon as they notice that maybe girls aren't so gross after all (age 10-13). Asian boy are so caught up in being mama's boys and studying and being nerds that by the time they actually hit on a girl, it might be in the hyper-competitive arena called college (age 20). By that time, it's too late. With so many Asian girls marrying non-Asians and so many Asian dudes holding XBOX controls, Asian American will be extinct in a 100 years. So be it. As Stan Lee said, " 'nuff said." |
| Jun 6, 2009 18:59 | #158 |
| GUESTGUEST007 | All of Asia worships whites. Asia copies our business models, our technology, our music. Asian men and Asian women worship whites, but it is more so among the women. For instance, how many Asian girls say that they only date white men vesus Asian dudes who say they only date white women? Bottom line. So why is there a huge disparity between AF/WM couples and AM/WF ones? The answer is manyfold: 1) Asian dudes lack social, physical, and psychological attributes necessary to compete for white wome. Asians are generally shorter, thinner, and have smaller......confidence. Time and time again, genetic evolution has favored taller men over shorter ones. 2) Women are more accepted into the dominant mainstream culture than men; Asian men are seen as threats to white men and as threats to the sanctity of white female sexuality (see miscegenation laws). 3) Asian dudes are marginalized in Hollywood and the mass media. Simpy look up East Asian Sterotypes on Wikipedia. Since everyone makes decisions based on what is seen, it is not too unrealistic to find that white women have made assumptions about Asian dudes based simply on what Hollywood has told them to believe. The depcitions of Asian dudes in film and TV can be far too subtle for white people to grasp, but the psychological imprint is indelible. Asian dudes simply buy into the swamp rot spewing forth from Hollywood. Since AF/WM are so common and the fact that so man Asian females date only white men, many Asian dudes automatically conclude that an attractive Asian girl only dates white men, so they tend not to ask the girl out. Their propecy becomes fulfilled when the white man asks the Asian girl out. When the Asian dude sees the AF/WM couples, he says, "See, I told you she (Asian girl) only dates white men." |
| Jun 7, 2009 11:21 | #159 |
| GUEST64099 | I think this issue has been pretty much beaten to death over and over again, and the answer is not going to change: currently White standards rule the world, and of course Asian american girls will look to white men for romance and Asian girls looking for financial security and a better life will also look to the west. However (and here's the important part), much of this is due to an ingrained power structure built up over the last 200 years of British/European and American domination. However, if history hasn't already taught us enough, hegemonies rise and fall. The Asian century is nigh, and with China at the economic heart, it won't be very long until the marriage rates even out and perhaps may even tilt in Chinese men's favor (depending on how the definition of masculities evolve...if we return to defining a man by his wits, work ethic, personality and financial security instead of by his muscles, facial hair and testosterone levels, Asian men will most likely emerge on top) Lastly, humans are an adaptive race. China is now seeing a great gender gap among it's younger generation, and it is estimated that in 10 years or so China will have some 32 million excess males. Some people will say that these guys will just die lonely or go gay, but I disagree. I think many of them will travel abroad as laborers (as Chinese men traveled to the US to work on the railroads a century and a half ago) and will find wives and settle down wherever they can (as those Chinese men also did back in the 1800s...they married white and black women). So, in the end, there's no real threat to Chinese men from foreign competition or lack of western female interest. If what i've said above still doesn't placate your feelings (to the two "guestgue..." before me) then think of it this way...there are 1.3 billion Chinese, and there is no way that having 2% of our women marrying foreigners is going to impact China heavily. Heck, if even 25% of Chinese women were to marry to Europe or the US/Canada, then girls in those countries would have to marry Chinese men, because there aren't that many surplus men anywhere else in the world for them to marry! |
| Jun 7, 2009 14:55 | #160 |
| GUEST83149 | hello?? is anyone listening I am interested in chinese men!!! |
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