| Why do overseas Chinese men seldom marry western women? | |
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| Nov 3, 2009 21:19 | #211   |
| GUEST19231 | Quote:Originally Posted by GUESTJELLYBEAN Chinese men are smarter than Western men. *hehehehe* ROFLOL No offense intended to the Western women. Seriously, the American women I've discussed this with do not seem to be attracted to Asian men. I've never men a Western man who did not find Asian women wonderfully attractive. Perhaps that... This here exemplifies bigotry in Chinese culture... and most other posts. Don't you guys have spell-check? Use it. |
| Nov 10, 2009 04:26 | #212 |
| GUEST23961 | Lack of Confidence Look Preference (some Chinese men prefer girls who look loli...) Cultural Difference Media Potrayal Family Obedience/ Communication Lack of Social Status... many Chinese men are taught to start a relationship AFTER they get rich... there is an oline report somewhere about 80% or more Chinese women (in mainland China) who are looking to start a relationship would only consider a man who owns a house, car (both mortgage loan must already being paid off), and $$$..... etc. |
| Nov 12, 2009 08:57 | #213 |
| GUEST34106 | I'm a Chinese man in 30s.China is famous for its amount of population and quick changes,so I have to remind foreigners,esp. Westerners, here that Chinese are also dramatically different,like people in your own countries,in physique and more in mind. I think the major causes for the scarcity of the marrige between Chinese men and Western women,are the comparative poverty and the lag of thought of Chinese as a whole up to now. I have to tell I don't prefer girls who look loli...I prefer mature women,mature physically and mentally.I don't know why many more Western men marry Chinese women,but I prefer,generally speaking,Western women to Chinese women,largely because I feel more comfortable with Western thoughts and beautiful appearance is a plus.I think personally the attractiveness of apperance is not being strong or thin,but good looking.Further more,I know one should put more emphasis on values,character and intelligence. |
| Nov 12, 2009 09:01 | #214 |
 | I'm a Chinese man in 30s.China is famous for its amount of population and quick changes,so I have to remind foreigners,esp. Westerners, here that Chinese are also dramatically diverse,like people in your own countries,in physique and more in mind. I think the major causes for the scarcity of the marrige between Chinese men and Western women,are the comparative poverty and the lag of thought of Chinese as a whole up to now. I have to tell I don't prefer girls who look loli...  I prefer mature women,mature physically and mentally.Being mature indicates being an adult.In fact,I think personally the attractiveness of apperance is not being strong or thin,but good looking.By the way,I have to admit most Chinese are too thin for diverse reasons.Further more,I know one should put more emphasis on values,character and intelligence in the long run.I don't know exactly why many more Western men marry Chinese wome.Perhaps it's because most people accept that the male should be better than his spouse,as the traditional Chinese values goes.I know most Chinese men prefer Western women,although they unnecessarily admit this.I'm not very sure of their exact reasons for their preference.But I also prefer,generally speaking,Western women to Chinese women,largely because I feel more comfortable with Western thoughts,and beautiful appearance is a plus.In other words,maturity physically and mentally.In fact I think the attactiveness of the appearance of Westerners is far more varied than that of Chinese in terms of both individuals and time.A major portion of the Westerners is realy better looking than Chinese,but others unnecesarily. Most of the problem is derived from the difficiency of the communication between Chinese and Westerners.Most of us still don't know enough about each other,and that's why the perspective of internationalization is important. |
Last edited by ALONGWAY: Nov 12, 2009 10:02 |
| Nov 15, 2009 10:27 | #215 |
| GUEST15129 | japanese people have all sorts of odd fetishes |
| Nov 15, 2009 14:12 | #216 |
| GUESTJELLYBEAN | If you dont like to be discriminate against then why would you do it to others. My husbend and I had just got married not to long ago. He moved here from China 5 to 6 years ago. When we first got together we read up on eachothers cultures. He had some questions for me to answer and I has some questions for him tro answer. After the questions we got on the computer and looked for people that wrote crap like this. You here all the bad things that people say to you but, you don't hear the good that most people say. People are only ugly because they feel ugly. So they go out and find someone to pick on. I find the Chinese/Western wemon and men to be extreemly beautaful. There is alot of actors out there that is extreemly beautaful and there mixed. Besides the world would be boring if everyone never changed. My husbend and I plan to have a baby after we come back from China in 2010. We agreed the baby will be born in America. As much as I beged to have a baby in China, it just all came down to being in America. English will be the laguage the baby will first learn then its Chinese. That was my husbends idea. We are both hopeing for a boy but, we also want a girl. Most americans want to have a boy first and then a girl. Only reasion why I wanted a baby in China is because they dont get discriminated against as much as in America. I dont want my baby to grow up knowing he or she is being discriminated against and called ugly with out being given the chance to be known for who they are. Youhave already given a tittle to someone that dosnt even know you. Maby other people were right to give you that same title. |
| Nov 15, 2009 14:36 | #217 |
| GUESTJELLYBEAN | Even though all Americans isnt white. I am though. Most Americans get the wrong idea about Chinese. Most of the Chinese that came to America I see them with there wifes. There wifes are always happy and smileing. I even wonder with all the bad things that were said about Chinese men how are they still so happy. At first I though maby it because there use to it so they suck it up and smile anyways. Oh was I wrong. 5 to 6 years ago my husbend moved to America from China. Shortly after we met and I wanted to see why chinese women were so happy with there husbends. At first we stared out as friends. The first time we hung out. He told he he had a girlfriend back in China and then he would kiss my on the top of my head and try to fill me up. I refused him. After that he told me that his girlfriend in China was getting married to his bestfriend. I didnt know that. He didnt try to tuch me again for the rest of the night. We both went home and called each other then next day to hang out again. He tried again but again I refused. Slowly as 2 weeks went by he started calling me his girl. At his work I was his wife. After a few more week he got what he wanted. Then the planes for us came out. We planed to get married and have babys. So we had a huge talk about the life our child would have. Were finaly married and plan to have that baby after we come back from China in 2010. The reasion why im happy with him is becasue he made me fill better about the Chinese life and he take extreem care of me. He makes me smile. He gets me. His parents love me alot. My chinese is not extreemly clear but his parents are seeing that i'm atleast trying to make an effort to understand and talk to them in there laguage. Why most Chinese people get shot down is becasue they dont unerstand american women. They know what there friends tell them and what they read online. My husbend at first tried to do something to me that I wasnt ready to do. He didnt care if he got shot down or not. Then he realized that I had a heart. So he took it slow with me. Just like Chinese women. You have to treat them with respect and learn to understand them like they would for anyother person they ever meet. Women in america would change alot about them selfs aslong as there boyfriend or husbend contunes being respectful, fathful and make them smile once in a wile. I am madly in love with my husbend and thats because he still treats me the same as he did when we first met. |
| Nov 15, 2009 14:39 | #218 |
| GUESTJELLYBEAN | Quote:Originally Posted by GUEST22198 generally speaking, asian men are not seen as sexy, by american women. |
| Nov 16, 2009 06:02 | #219 |
| GUEST65146 | I am a middle aged Chinese man who has lived in Australia for more than 20 years and have dated women of many races. My perception is that Chinese men generally sees Chinese women to be better wives for them than Western women because of the following general believes (which may or may not be correct in reality). (1) Chinese women are capable of speaking Chinese (2) Chinese women are more focused on family (vs personal) needs (3) Chinese women are more supportive of husband's career (4) Chinese women are more disciplined and diligent (5) Chinese women are more thrift (6) Chinese women age better |
| Nov 25, 2009 09:12 | #220 |
| GUESTHK ARTS... | I actually posted once under another name containing HK in the middle of the thread. I don't like all the wrong spelling here, but anyway I'll write again: I'm a college guy from Hong Kong and have been single all my life. I'm alright with that because for cultural reasons I have simply too much to do in college before I can really act properly, not as a Chinese guy myself, but just as a young man. I'm expecting to take up post-grad studies and work and to live more independently than ever before, so that I'll make a good partner for any young woman, regardless of ethnicity. For the posts I consider valid arguments but not over-generalizations/racist attacks, I think they all boil down to a few arguments to our original question: 1) I think racial concerns are the most important because it's connected to many issues. One, discrimination itself is enough to scare a lot of people. For the media portrayal, intuitively not just Asian males (Chinese included) are being the victims, but also black people, latinos. Perhaps the only ones who aren't portrayed negatively would be white guys. Not even white women, because you have the more or less same implicit patriarchy in your society, like in the Chinese. 2) The wrong thought is to treat everybody in a dichotomy which is dangerous. While you say Hollywood/American media in general (also influential outside America) do this and that, some kinds of white men also have a very bad reputation in my country, such as sex tourists. So, on second thought, I won't even write "shyness" and "physique" as secondary reasons why AMWF is rare. Any Chinese guy, wherever he lives, whoever he is, as long as he's not shy, very aggressive womanizer, and is tall and strong and mascular and handsome, it already crumbles ALL your generalizations. The fact is, like in Hong Kong where I lived almost all my life, there are TONS of Chinese guys who are great womanizers/lovers even though their physique is less than average. Don't put that crappy dichotomy that Asian guys are nerds/shy/have small confidence-thing, etc. It's ALL individual. A Chinese guy can look really ugly and nerdy, dresses poorly by Chinese AND western standards, and is still a huge womanizer. |
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