| if you fall in love with a muslim when you are not,what will you do? | |
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| Jul 3, 2008 23:32 | #21   |
 | Mr LP, do you think that to have a little girl married to a man at age of 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, and 16 it is a good thing to do? I ask because I think that is child abuse not lesser than what is going on in Asia where western man travel often to have sex with children, (child predators). |
| Jul 4, 2008 00:39 | #22 |
| well..Lionpower,Sounds like you are either a muslim or aliterate of islam since you got a prolific knowledge about islam. you said you are not explaining here because this is not a Religious forum,i am not quite agreed with you as i think everything to be talked in a good manner is welcome here. I have small knowledge aout islam,so do other religions since i was interested to know culture,opinion of different people from different region and religion.I am a Christian by the way.followers of different religion have their own reson why they choose it,i don't wanna give comment on "right or wrong",but there is question just for mind satisfiction or let 's say studying. why Muslim authorized to marry 4 womens?According to Koran,it was under condition while man can treat their 4 wiives everything in equal.but how would this be?maybe in material field,it would be,How about in immaterial field?love to 4 woman could never be divided equal. Yes,religious is nothing but way to be a "Good Man",but if there is something dubious,there must be question followed by. |
| Jul 4, 2008 00:45 | #23 |
| JCNILE123 ,if that's good thing to do,i think this world might be going more and more crazy |
| Jul 4, 2008 04:43 | #24 |
| Sonia, You told several times in this forum that you are Christan. Do you know Muslim is the Moderate or latest version of Christan, that means Muslim is better Christan. Mainly misunderstood arise from Language and translation. Some where translated wrongly and continued wrongly. Communication was not good at all, so fails to correct it. Personally I realize it in China when interpreter translated technical terms in to general. Some time native English people laugh to see translation on the bill board. Now changing every thing, Chinese people can translate in good way. Now a day we can see every thing in computer in one page or may be several but same time. So people now thinking severely about every thing and reaching at the goal promptly. Religious quarrel between the religion decreasing day by day, have many causes, mainly the translation making by highly educated people, scientist, technocrats, now its free from the fathers, sister, religious teachers hand. Even you can be an expert reading every thing from internet if you have a good goal.. Yes, our life is full of dubious thing, no problem to ask. Problem to understand or accept the the answer. If a baby of 3 years asked you, "Sister, where I came from" how will answer her ? Sorry , don't mind, I am not treating you as a 3 years girl (UR too smart). This introduction about base of knowledge. You are asking me about Physics, Chemistry or Biology. Yes I can give you a good reply as I am scientist, can you understand it if you have no knowledge about Physics, Chemistry or Biology? |
| Jul 4, 2008 15:15 | #25 |
| Sonia, ((((JCNILE123 ,if that's good thing to do,i think this world might be going more and more crazy )))) It is not a good thing to do, however my point itsthat it is been done, of course some how it is not related to the thread some how, but then again it is; it is about the female group of society. Please read this articule, Yemeni girl granted divorce at age 10 CASE SHEDS LIGHT ON CHILD BRIDES, LAWS By Borzou Daragahi Los Angeles Times Article Launched: 06/15/2008 01:33:48 AM PDT SAN'A, Yemen - The little girl was waist-high, so small that the lawyers, clerks and judges hurrying through the courthouse almost missed her. As lunchtime arrived and the crowds of noisy men and women cleared away, a curious judge asked her what she was doing sitting alone on a bench. "I came to get a divorce," 10-year-old Nujood Ali told the jurist. Her impoverished parents had married her off to a man more than three times her age, who beat her and forced her to have sex, she explained. When she told her father and mother that she wanted out of the marriage, they refused to help. So an aunt provided her with bus money to travel to court and seek a divorce. Within days of that April 2 encounter, Nujood's tale and the plight of child brides in Yemen made international headlines. And thanks to the efforts of human rights lawyer Shada Nasser, who took up her cause, the girl at the center of the story has begun to overcome her trauma and dream of a better life. Common occurrence Yemeni law sets the age of consent at 15. But tribal customs AND INTERPRETATIONS OF ISLAM often trump the law in this country of 23 million. A 2006 study conducted by Sana'a University reported that 52 percent of girls were married by age 18. Publicity surrounding Nujood's case prompted calls to raise the legal age for marriage to 18 for both men and women. Yemen's conservative lawmakers refused to take it up. But the case sparked public discussion and newspaper headlines. Several more child brides came forward, including a girl who sought a divorce in the southern Yemeni city of Ibb this month. "This case opened the door," Nasser said. Nujood says that at first, she felt ashamed about what had happened to her. "But I passed through that," she said, eyes narrowing in her black head scarf. "All I want now is to finish my education," she added, her mouth curling into a smile. "I want to be a lawyer." NUJOOD'S UNEMPLOYED FATHER, ALI MOHAMMED AHDAL, HAS TWO WIVES AND 16 CHILDREN. He is among the many tribal Yemenis who migrated to the capital over the last decades looking for work. Instead, he found misery. |
| Jul 4, 2008 15:15 | #26 |
| He arranged to have Nujood married in February to Faez Ali Thamer, a 30-something motorcycle deliveryman from his native province, Hajja. Nujood's parents said they were trying to do what was best for their daughter and didn't even receive a dowry, a claim many Yemenis don't believe. The parents say the groom had promised he wouldn't have sex with her until she reached puberty. "We asked him to raise her," said Shu'aieh, the girl's mother. The groom has disputed that claim. About 40 people attended the wedding in the village of Wadi La'a where the groom lived. As a wedding gift, she received three new dresses and a $20 wedding ring. She was to live with him and his family. The trouble started on the first night, when he demanded that they share a mattress. She resisted, walking out of the room, only to have him follow. Sometimes he beat her into submission. For weeks, she cried all day and dreaded the nights, when he would enter the room, blow out the oil lamp and demand sex. On a visit to her parents' house back in the capital weeks later, she wept that her husband was doing unmentionable things to her. Her father claimed there was nothing he could do. "My cousins would have killed me if I dishonored the family by asking for a divorce," he said. But her mother's sister discretely advised her to go to court. The bewildered judge who found Nujood on the bench decided to bring her to his house for the weekend. His daughters had a swing and toys she'd never seen. Once the work week began, the judge dispatched soldiers to arrest Nujood's father and husband. He placed Nujood in the care of an uncle, her mother's brother. |
| Jul 4, 2008 15:16 | #27 |
| “…As for those [wives] from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.” - Qur’an Sura 4:35 This is an update to a previous article HERE. Muslim girl divorced: married at 8 years old While a girl who had been forced to marry in Yemen at the age of 8 has been granted a divorce, the law permitting adults to marry minors is unchanged. Marriage of young girls is widespread. April 16, 2008 - Asia News - via Spero News The Yemeni law on marriage will not be changed, in spite of the case of the eight-year-old girl who, forced to marry a man of 30, by asking for - and obtaining - a divorce has brought to light a practice that is widespread in the extremely poor country. The parliamentary jurisprudence committee has, in fact, rejected a request from the Women’s National Committee that was supported by 61 parliamentarians, asking that the minimum age for marriage be set at 18, for both men and women. The case of Nojud Mohammed Ali came to light on April 2 - in the pages of the Yemen Times - when the little girl presented herself, alone, before judge Muhammed Al-Qadhi in a court in the capital, to ask for divorce from her husband, Faez Ali Thameur, accusing him of beating and raping her. The law, in fact, allows marriage with minors, but requires waiting for “maturity” to have sexual relations. But the law itself does not provide any sanctions against those who do not respect it. Thus, in the country, the practise of marriages with young girls is extremely widespread: a study conducted in 2006 by a centre for women’s development revealed that childhood marriage affects 52.1% of girls, for whom the average age of marriage varies from a little more than 10 years to almost 15. The age for men is around 21. As for Nojud, her husband, who was arrested on charges of violence, had refused to grant a divorce, defending himself by saying that he had obtained the girl from her parents. The girl’s father, also jailed by the judge, explained that he had allowed the girl to be married because of the family’s poor economic conditions. “They made me sign a contract”, Nojud recounted, “telling me that I would remain at home until I was 18 years old, but one week later my parents brought me to my husband”. After the trial, the now ex-husband and the father - who says he is sorry - were released from prison. As for the girl, she has expressed the desire to return to school - she was in second grade - and to have a teddy bear to play with. |
| Jul 4, 2008 22:47 | #28 |
| Dear Sonia, The warning bells are ringing for your friend. Marriage is intended to be a safe haven for a man and a woman to enjoy each other and to have and nurture a family. We humans are spiritual beings no matter what be believe in and this is an important aspect of each of our lives. Your girlfriend, after less than one year, is struggling with serious questions about her life values and how she wants to live the rest of her life. Gently remind her that she will struggle with these same questions every day of her married life. If she has reservations now about her decision to marry someone with a value system so different from her own and one that places so many restrictions on her life, not his, then things will only get worse after she marries. One of the saddest stories I ever read was that of an American woman who married the love of her life (a Muslim man) while he was living in America. One day he just decided to take his family back to Iran with no prior consultation with her. Because she loved him and he loved her, she naturally went with him. She and their daughter were then expected to live under the same restrictive and extreme conditions as all the other Muslim women in the country. A lifestyle very alien to her own! A lifestyle that began to suffocate and smother her physically, emotionally and spiritually. Her husband although he loved her was unable to support her in her desire to live her own value systems or to teach them to their daughter. After several years she managed to escape and has since written a book about this tragic turn around in her life. Not Without My Daughter by Betty Mahmoody is also a Movie on DVD with Sally Fields. I recommend you ask your friend to have a look at it before she makes her final decision. |
| Jul 4, 2008 22:49 | #29 |
| Lionpower, Islam is not the final word on Christianity. Jesus is the final WORD |
| Jul 4, 2008 23:34 | #30 |
| Hi Sonia, Here's another thought. Not sure what would be available to read here in China but if you use this link to Amazon there is a large array of books written by a wide variety of women on this very subject. An interesting one is by Carmen Bin Ladin, once Osama's brother-in-law. While you cannot read the whole book here, the brief reviews can give you a pretty good idea of the content. Of course you may need to translate for you friend if she doesn't understand English. And of course you could go ahead a purchase if she feels it would help her. http://www.amazon.com/ |
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