| how does a western boy think? | |
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| Jan 4, 2009 15:24 | #11   |
| GUEST30177 | thank you so much for all these sincere and constructive advice! thanks a lot!! yes, they indeed make me rethink about this issue. The possiblity that we can be together and the relationship works out seems so tiny. It is hard for me to realize and face it tho..... hence, if he gives up,I will not insist then..........but it is really sad...........and all I can say is the time and place we met each other are not correct? 55 I suddenly feel life is not easy...I am always educated that if you want something damn bad,you go for it and fight for it. But now it doesn't apply to this case. however, I am lucky since I posted this thread here and get all these genuine reply. Thanks again. And my next question arises: when will you know he/she is the one? and pls do correct my English if there are problems. |
| Jan 4, 2009 18:04 | #12 |
| GUEST30177 | yes,,i will treat this case as"2 ships that pass in the night". quite exact idiom for my feeling now~~~ thank you Dodger! |
| Jan 5, 2009 15:30 | #13 |
 | I'm not sure that idiom relates to your situation. The line is actually from a poem and I think you got quite a bit closer than those two ships. Ships that pass in the night And speak one another in passing, Only a signal shown And a distant voice in the darkness; Thus on the ocean of life, We pass and speak one another, Only a voice and a look; Then darkness again and a silence. H.W. Longfellow |
| Jan 6, 2009 09:27 | #14 |
| GUEST30177 - I understand about "if you want something damn bad,you go for it and fight for it." But it can't apply here since for anything to work, HE must also want you "damn bad". Garykincaid's and Bobert's advice are really good. And here is another bit of insight into "how a western boy thinks" -- too often western boys want the very thing that is hardest to get! By this, I mean if you throw yourself at him and make yourself easily available, he may very well grow disinterested and not want you. So be mysterious and hard to get, be a bit distant. Don't answer his emails right away, make him wait and worry the same way you worry about him not responding. But please don't disrupt your life for something that might not be worth it (like interrupting your education and going to Africa to help him in business). Find out first if it the relationship is real, then be smart about the near and long term actions. You are worth more anywhere in this world with an education than if you don't have one. You could be of more help to anyone, including yourself, that way as opposed to being just manual help. Plus do it for yourself: get the education and self-assuredness that comes with it. Good luck... you sound like a very sweet girl. |
| Jan 6, 2009 11:52 | #15 |
| Very good advice Seth, Guest 30177, please take your time and wait to see how your relationship develops over the coming months. Best wishes. Alan |
| Jan 6, 2009 14:50 | #16 |
| GUEST99173 | thx a lot for the advice. it helps! Once hurt twice shy, I was like that before and did miss some chances. This time I told myself not to behave like a craven, and made myself so available and even quite active afterwards, but it doesn''t work either. why there are classes teach me to get ace in mathematics,but no one tell me how to get love? I never really "drop into the love river" with anyone. either the one said he likes me that I don't like, or the one I really have feeling for but he wasn't serious. I never feel I am being loved by guys and never introduce to my friends proudly saying "This is my boyfriend", although I enjoy single life very much and know how to make it enjoyable. I have lots of friends,female and male,that they all tell that I am good girl. I believe there must be something wrong with myself that makes me in this no-boyfriend awkard sutitation , but I just don't know how I can do better and I want to be better. and also I have this question: when will you know that "Oh,this time he/she is the one who I am looking for" ? thank you if you may tell me!!!!! |
| Jan 9, 2009 05:56 | #17 |
| GUEST11124 | I receive his SMS today,he didn't explain but said he's just back to Africa and maybe come to my current country next month . I told him what I thought like I wanna help his bizness and tried to get off school next semester. So I totally release myself now. I will not feel regret since I am be honest with myself and told him all I want to say. It depends on him to give the relationship a chance or not. And no matter what decision he will make, I will have no pity on it any more because said what I meant to say to him. I know I should behave a bit mysterious but I can't help telling him all, then I can really get over him and peacefully continue my life and looking for my real one. Not sure whether I made the right decision. |
| Jan 11, 2009 01:29 | #18 |
| It is now 1 week later... Did he reply? British boys - or better western boys - up to 28/30 years are not too serious about relationships versus intimacy. What I mean is, that it could be very well just a matter of - from the boy's point of view - enjoying the moment, then a matter of love. I am from Holland, and in Holland they "share the bed" within a month going together. Has more to do with lust then with love. But... not every boy is the same, and this young fellow could be serious. However, if I would be that young fellow, I would be talking to you on MSN everyday if it was for true love. |
| Jan 11, 2009 08:31 | #19 |
| I register for a user name in the forum. Thank you Jaap. Actually I live in the country very near the Netherlands.And I had very good experience travelling in Holland. The people are always friendly and nice. Personally I quite like Amsterdam and Delft (= He is 24,quite young though older than me. In fact, I should thank him that he did not reply my email, and during that period of time, I myself did think about the reality and sorta released myself. He only sent me this single SMS a couple of days ago saying he maybe come to my current country next month, I reploied and tell him all I want to say, and get no reply any more. Those days I transfer my attention to other things like study and my small online business. I am back to normal life and cherished the time in Africa. Even he didn't reply me or chat with me online,I no longer have pain and worries. But I still cherish the time in Africa and the X'mas night that we spent together. I had such a good time with him,I feel enough already. |
| Jan 18, 2009 03:10 | #20 |
| I think you should move on...if a guy cares,he would try to contact you everyday.it might be painful to let go now,but its good for the long run...please dont give up your education or career over this...cos someday in the future you may regret it. |
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