| married guy dates a Chinese girl | |
|---|---|
| Feb 9, 2009 20:56 | #11   |
 | AMPILOT, extramarital affair is not a good thing. After reading your post, I sense that you are a good guy. My suggestion is the same as Charity's. Please keep this special feeling in the inmost recesses of your heart. Be a good husband. |
| Feb 9, 2009 21:34 | #12 |
| Hey, Cherry, It was a beautiful picture on your profile!! Which city is it?Is it your city?? To be a better man, i like this song very much! *^* |
| Feb 9, 2009 23:45 | #13 |
| GUEST94822 | LOST IN CHINA |
| Feb 10, 2009 04:46 | #14 |
| Ampilot, you are far from being a middle-aged fool. Just another man who is still growing and learning; it never stops. You do need to seek un-judgmental counsel to be able to talk through all of the emotional and financial outcomes that will eventuate if you choose to proceed. I was lucky in that I found such a friend who could/did help me. Moreover, as Gary has said “no Man is an island” We don't do business in a vacuum, nor do we exist emotionally in a vacuum either. Cheers, Dodger. |
| Feb 10, 2009 08:23 | #15 |
| Thanks all. . I have not crossed the line yet. I think I understand what's going on with me, but I would like some insight into what may be going on with her. Let me tell a few things about her. First, she is from Fuzhou and in her late 20s. A university graduate, she is very sharp, well spoken, and understands surprisingly well American colloquial speech- I don't have to talk slowly or precisely in standard English, I can use all the contractions, idioms, and rapid word run-ons the members of our tribe sometimes use. How she got out of China I am not 100% clear on, she said she got an interview with an international resorts operator and they hired her to work as a section manager in one of the more upscale hotels in the Cayman Islands and had some crazy travel route to get there. Later, she applied for and was given a job at a 5 star restaurant in one of the Windward Islands. There are very few Chinese there, at least that I could see. I know to the north in Antigua quite a few Chinese entered with construction companies, and then sort of stayed around after the job was done, and I guess there was little to be done except let them stay there. She lives alone, works very long hours. She is better paid than the locals, but she does not make as much as she might say in the UK - she says she has had a few offers to go there. All of the moving around and offers of employment may sound a little improbable, but my sister in law also had a degree in hospitality management, she used to work in that industry too, and if you're good and get to know people, which she did, likewise got to roam around the Caribbean working at the finer hotels. When asked about the future, she does not mention getting married and raising a family. She talks of places all over the world and her desire to seem them all. I think that's what first attracted to me to her, as in her enthusiasm and dreams I recognized somebody who was the exact same way, a long time ago, namely me. I assess her as a very independent, self directed and capable young lady. She has a certain sensitivity about things and people and relationships but I think she guards it. She does not throw herself at me, or phone or email all the time, but welcomes every overture I make. NOw, why on earth is she attracted to me? My feeling is she is alone, works too hard, has her eyes set on places far over the horizon, and wants some comfort and special friendship from someone she thinks won't tie her down. Well that would be me. However, I also wonder if this smart, goal directed lady isn't reeling me in like a fish on a hook.... |
| Feb 10, 2009 08:58 | #16 |
| lust |
| Feb 10, 2009 09:25 | #17 |
|  Gee guy, that kind of talk can give a fellow in my circumstances a heart attack. I look it her, I look at me, and to think her interest in me is physical? No way, can't be. She is a very attractive young lady whose father I could be, and I am a been on too many late flights, ate too much bad food, didn't get enough exercise, worked so hard and forgot why silly man going through some very unplanned, unexpected craziness. Not in yours or mine wildest dreams. Its has to be something else. |
| Feb 10, 2009 15:36 | #18 |
| GUEST11050 | Thanks for sharing your story with us, Mr. Ampilot! Does it mean that you only fly in the morning? No offence by any means. Whatever you do, think of the consequences of your action! So far, your religious upbringing has kept you from crossing that line. You did not say that you have an awful wife. In fact, she gave birth to your children and prepared meals for you. She has been your partner for all these years through thick and thin. Is it logical for you to have a fling with a chick half or one-third your age in exchange for her devotion to your family! How do you feel when you go home and find a pair of men’s slippers by your bed! You don’t remember owing that pair of slippers either! Oh no……………that is betrayal to the nth degree! Your wife will react similarly if you cross that line in order to rejuvenate your libido. Mind you, a few minutes of pleasure can lead to many years of heartache! Your friend is simply a nice person. She does not want to get into you pants. Just keep it as tea or coffee! If you say tea, coffee, or me, your children may not grant you the respect that you need to earn. Teach your children by example! Once you say you do at the altar, you shall never set your eyes upon another woman with lust. That is what I have been taught at the Shaolin Temple. Have a good day! It is not easy to handle those hormone-driven emotions. Grasshopper |
| Feb 10, 2009 18:05 | #19 |
| One other solution might be to buy a 1000+cc sportster cycle, backpack, bedroll and hit the road for maybe 5 months, avoiding near collisions with vehicles that don't see you and getting some bugs in your teeth. This tends to clear the mind considerably. Good luck!! |
| Feb 11, 2009 08:07 | #20 |
| Well folks, I think this story may be coming to an end. She and I talked the other day and I think I know where she is going and what she wants now. In the past, she talked of wanting to travel the world, and work in different countries. That's still true, but it so happens that the country she wants to come and work in next is right here. Perhaps our relationship inspired that interest. Alas, she does not have a visa that would allow her to work here and those are so hard to get. Having gotten to know her, I am certain she has no intention of manipulating me or my feelings into giving up my family and marrying her so she can get that visa, she is not that kind of person, she is hard working, goal driven,and independent, and also very genuine and honest. At the same time, it is also the case that were I not so encumbered, we could have explored the possibility of how close we could become and marriage would have been a genuine and real possibility. Not that could not happen, but it would require each of us to take very specific steps that might actually hurt our relationship rather than assure it of its long term health I care for her alot, I really do, and it is clear now her happiness in life is best served by stepping back. I am very grateful for the chance to have met her. Like I said, the last thing in the world I expected was to meet a soul-mate from the other side of the world and in one so much younger, I wasn't looking for, didn't plan it, just happened, thats all. Its been a personal revelation to me that such a thing is even possible to me still, but more so is the discovery that my younger self is still here with all the hopes, desires and weaknesses he had, he is just masked and buried over with the accretions of years of responsibility. I guess I have a project now to figure out how to chip away all this stuff and bring him back. I sent her an email letting her know how I felt about her, why I do, how glad I was we met, how I care for her happiness and while I might actually be yearning for something else, I wish from her only friendship. Whew, that was painful. I wonder what her response will be, or if there will be one. I guess years from now , when I am indeed lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to tubes, waiting for the the beep beep to go beeeeeee..p, I will be thinking of both the times I had with my family and children, but also of a little doe-eyed beautiful lady in the islands, with whom things might have been, but nontheless should not have been, different. As for the rest of you, I am glad to have heard a few words with you all. I think from I will always regard people from China differently now, and look forward to adding some Chinese to the circle of people I call friends. If this story has an epilogue, I will let you know. In the meantime, the road trip suggested by Mr. Kinkade sounds pretty good. My sportster has wings though, but we are indeed going traveling. |
Post a Reply to: married guy dates a Chinese girl
Copyright © 1998-2024 All rights reserved.