married guy dates a Chinese girl

married guy dates a Chinese girl
Mar 2, 2009 00:18	#51
GUEST21872	You my friend are an absolute idiot and are falling for the oldest trick in the book. This facade you have built is a house of cards that will easily come crashing to the ground along with your life. You appear to be educated (as were those who fell for the Phillipino bride and Nigerian money scams) so you need to think with your head and not with your little brothers head. You originally stated you did not to pursue a relationship with this women but continue to rant on about it. We are not here to justify nor give you excuses why you should cheat on your wife and children if this is what you choose then go that road alone and take responsibility for your actions and remember what you do will effect everyone in your life like ripples in water they will spread. I have lived and worked in China and S.E. Asia for years and unfortunately these stories are far to common, I have seen succesfull and professional buisnessmen reduced to beggers on the street after the wives and colleagues get done with them some have even commited suicide rather then live with what they have done. What you think or know of this women is minute compared to who she really is, if you want to pursue this then take time and do some research, dig into her past and ask yourself why would someone like her want a relationship built on lies. You will probally find out you are not the first or the last married man she has had. I myself almost was tricked into a relationship like this and ended it before it was too late.

Mar 2, 2009 00:18

#51

GUEST21872

You my friend are an absolute idiot and are falling for the oldest trick in the book. This facade you have built is a house of cards that will easily come crashing to the ground along with your life. You appear to be educated (as were those who fell for the Phillipino bride and Nigerian money scams) so you need to think with your head and not with your little brothers head. You originally stated you did not to pursue a relationship with this women but continue to rant on about it. We are not here to justify nor give you excuses why you should cheat on your wife and children if this is what you choose then go that road alone and take responsibility for your actions and remember what you do will effect everyone in your life like ripples in water they will spread. I have lived and worked in China and S.E. Asia for years and unfortunately these stories are far to common, I have seen succesfull and professional buisnessmen reduced to beggers on the street after the wives and colleagues get done with them some have even commited suicide rather then live with what they have done. What you think or know of this women is minute compared to who she really is, if you want to pursue this then take time and do some research, dig into her past and ask yourself why would someone like her want a relationship built on lies. You will probally find out you are not the first or the last married man she has had. I myself almost was tricked into a relationship like this and ended it before it was too late.

Mar 3, 2009 14:32

#52

GUEST15655

AMPILOT, I can speak as one who experienced everything you described. My Chinese friend was articulate, engaging, and touched my soul in a way that I had never experienced. Unfortunately, I crossed the line and had the affair. It lasted nearly 2 years. Finally, I came to the realization that I was running away from my responsibilities and that love is so much more than an emotional feeling.

My wife and I have been going to marital counseling for about 2 years now. We're making tremendous progress, but nothing will ever remove all the pain and heartache I created. Get your heart right with God (the true provider of spiritual nourishment), then nurture your marriage the way He intended.

Mar 4, 2009 01:26	#53
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: Offline	I can also "speak as one who experienced everything you described'....several times! I am happy to say I succumbed every time. Life is short. Enjoy it. If god intended men to "nurture their marraiges" he would have wired us differently. I'm not weak. He/she is a poor designer!

Mar 4, 2009 23:10

#54

AMPILOT
Points:
Join Date: Feb 7, 2009
Status: Offline

Just got back from another trip over where she is working. While GUEST21872 is way out of line with calling a person he has never met and all the women in her City hookers, the idea that "What you think or know of this women is minute compared to who she really is" is something that did have a ring of truth - I have been around the block a few times in Asia too and know there is always more than meets the eye, and I had some concerns. So I spent alot more time this trip talking about her past and trying to understand her situation better. I learned a great deal about her family, childhood, her relation with her father, places she has been. Also, after some persistent and inventive questioning, I also found out she has a local boyfriend. Oddly enough, instead of feeling like I just stepped in fresh cow dung, I actually felt tremendously relieved. Let me explain -

When this started, she had given me a tremendous gift in making me realize that my younger self was still alive within me. I think I understand now about life that when it comes to whether or not you view the years of your life as either the glass half full or half empty, the glass can always be half empty right up to the end, its only a delusion to think its not. Embrace life, and the glass is forever half empty.

That is a priceless gift. But as time went on, I began to wonder if at my age if she was going to be the last person I might ever meet who could make me feel that way. Its been 20 years since I met someone like her, and I guarantee all hope of anything like this happening to me again in the next 20 is non existent. So, I found I wanted to hear her more often, see her more often, could not afford to let her slip away. So, instead of feeling good, I was starting to feel anxiety, scared about the risks I was running with losing my family, but also terrified at the thought of losing her too.

Suddenly the "boyfriend" appears. I know the "boyfriend", he was the bogeyman from back when I was in high school who was always between me and the girl(s) of my dreams, putting her(them) effectively out of reach.

If this can be compared to poker game, then the ante has just been raised. The game was intense to begin with, now, its more than I feel like dealing with: besides gambling with my own family, I now have to gamble that she and her boyfriend will break up. I look at my winnings in this game, I am way ahead, its time to cash out. This is why I felt so relieved. It was like the spell broke.

Still I get a little misty eyed when I think, well, that's the last time in this life God has given me I will ever feel such a powerful romantic attraction to another person. She is truly exceptional.

Mar 4, 2009 23:33	#55
DODGER Points: Join Date: Jul 15, 2007 Status: Offline	Ampilot, I for one am glad to hear that you came through this particular journey and are able to put a positive spin on it. But please don’t, what ever you, close you mind to the fact that others can still bring enjoyment and excitement to your life; at many levels. Dodger.

Mar 5, 2009 23:11

#56

BOBERT
Points:
Join Date: Jan 1, 2009
Status: Offline

I have a solution to this dilemma AMPILOT. You and I seem to be on a similar wavelength. We seem to be confronted by the same incongruities of life and we both seem to be searching in vain for the answers. It suddenly dawned on me that we could be both looking in the wrong places. I think we have both found what we are looking for without realising it. Now, if you would consider a breast augmentation and a few other very minor surgical adaptations....and perhaps some hormone treatment....and maybe a few deportment classes... I think we could have a future together. What do you say???????

Apr 9, 2009 08:07

#57

GUEST24159

China and the Chinese culture seems to make it easy for husbands to disregard their own cultural honor . I am still married but my once honorable husband seems to think it s OK to live with a Chinese girl and dishonor me every day. Chinese girl is very clever in manipulating him. Now he says he does not want our marriage anymore. The work is all in China these days so our men go but sometimes we can't go too. Many western wives have learned that Chinese girls are out for themselves and they will happily destroy marriages and wreck homes and even get jealous, demanding and bossy about our husbands. Maybe to Chinese it does not matter - ha ha to wife - but in the long run this attitude will not benefit China as it is a corruption of principles and it will make the world outside look at you as liars and cheats.

May 26, 2009 13:38

#58

FUHSING
Points:
Join Date: May 26, 2009
Status: Offline

Ampilot, 15 years of marriage! Hm. Your wife is already bored with you. Seems to me like this Chinese lady really makes you feel alive and like a man again, something that is not going to happen at home for next 30 years. As long as Xiaojie knows that you are only going to see her regularly but not every day, this could work. None of the people who gave you advice have any real experience of this. They are just giving standard advice.

I say go for it.

May 26, 2009 20:25	#59
BOBERT Points: Join Date: Jan 1, 2009 Status: Offline	Excuse me Fushing but to say "None of the people who gave you advice have any real experience of this." is patently wrong. On this very page I wrote "I can also speak as one who experienced everything you described....several times!" My advice was not rhetoric. It comes from experience and is valid.

May 27, 2009 14:19	#60
FUHSING Points: Join Date: May 26, 2009 Status: Offline	Robert, my advice stays the same. Sorry I missed your post but I still hold that there too many empty marriages with zero emotional content. If you can't divorce for financial reasons (like losing half your estate) then at least discretely enjoy life with this Chinese lady.

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