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Are you afraid of visiting your mother-in-law?
Feb 12, 2010 00:58
  • JIMMYB
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My best friend has been in love with a girl for more than half a year. Their relationship is stable. But he told me several days ago that he met a serious problem. You see, Chinese Spring Festival is coming. His girlfriend told him that her mom would like to see him during the holiday. This “official meeting”made him nervous. He seemed to be afraid of seeing his mother-in-law.

I have heard of this before. Her mother-in-law’s real purpose is to see and understand him very much. My friend is still afraid that he might disappoint his girlfriend’s mom though I have tried many times to comfort him.

Did you have any similar experience? Or do you have any good suggestions for him?
Last edited by JIMMYB: Feb 12, 2010 00:58
Feb 12, 2010 01:30
#1  
  • CHERRY07
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Why not ask advice from his girlfriend? I am sure that she can give him some good suggestion. By the way, your friend should be confident.
Feb 12, 2010 13:53
#2  
  • BWINKS
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Advice:
-Be as outgoing, kind, and honest as you can. Don't be shy or reserved.
-Don't elaborate too much, or (if she's mean or cruel) she might make you eat your own words (and make you look very bad or like a lyer).
-Stay in the same room as your girlfriend when talking to her mother. That way if the mother is rude, your girlfriend defend/excuse you (and probably yell at her mother for being so rude)).
-If your girlfriend is not with you, and you see her mother coming, do what you can to quickly excuse yourself from the room... at least until she leaves or your girlfriend returns.

hope this helps
Feb 16, 2010 08:48
#3  
  • LIONPOWER
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Spring festival past.
JimmyB, what about your friend?
Feb 20, 2010 19:18
#4  
  • JIMMYB
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Quote:

Originally Posted by LIONPOWER

Spring festival past.
JimmyB, what about your friend?


Hi Lion,

Yesterday he was just back from his parents-in-law's home. His girlfriend's home is far away from his. He told me that everything was ok. But he found out that his mother-in-law was a bit scary. She is the one who has the final say at home. If he wants to marry his girlfriend, he must be accepted by his mother-in-law.

Besides, he told me that his father-in-law was satisfied with him. Now his priority is to please his mother-in-law. I have heard an old Chinese saying "The mother-in-law will gradually like her son-in-law as time passes by". Hope he could get his mother-in-law's permission to marry her daughter.
Feb 20, 2010 19:21
#5  
  • JIMMYB
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Bwinks,

I am wondering if you had visiited your parents-in-law. Good suggestions! I will remember all of your suggestions in case I will see my parents-in-law in the future.
Feb 27, 2010 02:51
#6  
  • DREAMLIFE
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Jimmyb, actually he needn't please his girlfriend's mother deliberately. All parents hope their children can find a guy/girl who love them deeply. He just need to be honest with her mom and uses his actions to tell her that "I will be nice to your daughter." Remember "No tricks". Be a honest and reliable man and let his mother-in-law see the real him.
Feb 27, 2010 08:57
#7  
  • WANHU
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I do not know about the culture and customs in mainland China. In my cointry I will have a mother in-law when I am married to her daughter. As she is my wife's mother, then I will treat her like my own mom, with respect.
Wan
Mar 4, 2010 01:20
#8  
  • JIMMYB
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Dear Wan,

You are married to her daughter so that her mom is your mom. Her dad is your dad too. You are their son-in-law. In China, it is the same.
Mar 9, 2010 20:16
#9  
  • JINGJING
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ee,that can explain why my bf is still afraid of seeing my mother,,,shit,,,why men are supposed to be strong,,but so weak in real?
Mar 11, 2010 03:44
#10  
  • JIMMYB
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Dear Jingjing,

Don't blame him too much. He is afraid that your mom may not accept him. As his girlfriend, you should encourage him to be more confident. Also you need to be the middleman who connects him and your mother together.

I am wondering if you are afraid of seeing your boyfriend's parents, especially his mom.
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