Will you pay bride price to your Chinese girlfriend’s parents?
Oct 8, 2012 18:21
GUEST19221 Ok, I am engaged to a Chinese girl from HK.
She has lived in the USA for 22 yrs, we have been together 4 years.
We have both been married once before, no kids.
We are getting married in the USA small friends only wedding. Now her Mom calls and asks for a $10,000 US bride price!!
She wants the money wired to her in HK. I have met her mother twice and thinks she simply wants money to support her lifestyle. It enrages me that she has asked for this.
I am american and my fiance has a green card and is in the process of becoming a US citizen.
I don't want to create bad feelings but thee is no way I am paying her anything.
I support my fiance financially and pay ALL the bills in our household.

What should I do??
Oct 8, 2012 21:09
GUEST656567 GUEST19221,

Have you told this to your fiancee? I think you need discuss it with your fiancee. It is a tradition that groom pays bride price to the parents-in-law in order to marry their daughter.

If she insists on taking the money and you can not afford 10000 USD, negotiate with your mother-in-law and see if you can pay her less money.
Oct 9, 2012 02:36
GUEST66202 You are being ripped off my friend. The tradition of bride price goes back to when the son is responsible for looking after his parents in old age and of course a daughter marries someone else's son. The bride price is to compensate her parents for the cost of raising and educating her. This practice is dying out now and is more often found in rural districts. Of course bride price only happens in the first marriage. Her parents should have already been "compensated" the first time around. Laowai are always presumed to be rich and you are being taken for a ride.
Oct 9, 2012 04:48

Girls in their second marriage also ask for bride price. They may just ask for less money than girls in the first marriage. This happens in my hometown.

You are correct. Some Chinese parents think all Laowai are rich. Thus, they ask for a huge amount of money as bride price.
Oct 17, 2012 22:48
GUEST10534 For me very expensive. I paid almost 250,000 RMB + wedding cost :( . and after 1 month her parents ask me to buy house .!! .. Always about money:( but my wife she never ask me , only parents . sick of it .:P
Nov 14, 2012 13:50
  • DAN777
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I was married in China. I am an American and my wife is chinese. I was told I was expected to give her mother money (father is dead). I was worried I would not give enough. I think I gave her mother a couple hundred dollars. I don't remember how many yuan but they were all hundreds. I don't think it made a difference about the amount as her mother is very old and has poor memory. I think it was mostly ceremony. I was the only one who did not speak Chinese and everyone did not speak Engish. My wife never asks for money. She has accepted money twice but mostly says she does not need it. All of us who marry Chinese women wonder if their intentions are good. So far I know about 4 successful marriages including mine. I am still waiting to get my wife to America. I was only with my wife for one week but I am very happy so far. I am 60, she is 46.
Nov 14, 2012 19:58

At Chinese wedding ceremony, the bride will receive a big red envelope from her father in law and some gold ornaments from the mother in law while the groom usually receive two red envelopes from his parents-in-law. In my hometown, the red envelope usually contains 1001 yuan, meaning "the bride is picked up among 1001 girls".

Your wife is really a good girl and your mother-in-law is nice too. Some young Chinese girls' moms do require a large amount of money as bride price.

Nov 27, 2012 00:03
GUEST25059 I get to know a chinese girl from xianxi. I like her very much she is cool and sweet loving face and character. BUt when i asked her is she can be my girl friend, she said " i actually like American man".That turn me off and dont want to visit her anymore or buy her perfume.
Jun 11, 2016 21:16
GUEST21428 Love will find a way // custom " When in Rome do as the Romans". Found the Chinese girl I won't and I feel buy new love and I will come up with something that works for us all as a family!! I'm very! excited to have this Chinese woman in my life I feel very blessedlll
May 12, 2017 00:44
GUESTRONIN All this is a form of social security for parents that can't or won't save their own damn money. Our daughter will be gone, so how will we get the standard 1/3 of her salary that she has been giving us? We will sell her to her boyfriend and use that money to live.
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