| Once you marry a Chinese woman, it is tantamount to marrying her entire family. | |
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| Jan 10, 2017 06:39 | #151   |
 | Quote:Originally Posted by GUEST40882 It's hard to say. The most important thing is you should be sure you love the girl. Tell her to talk to her father about this in a peaceful way. May it help! 
Thanks a lot 多谢 |
| Jan 11, 2017 00:49 | #152 |
| To Hatha888 and GUEST40882, @GUEST40882: You are right, it is Chinese culture. but it works only for Chinese. I have many Chinese boys suffers from this kind of culture. In fact as we are not Chinese, we consider this kind of culture or marriage kind of business where parents of girls start drooling for money and they wish ask for money as much as they can. additionally they ask the boy to buy apartment and car and and and... @Hatha888 I agree with you. This kind of marriage take us back to the ancient time where they buy the women as kept women. I'm from Italy and my wife is Chinese from Shandong. we got married in 2015, I bought car and i registered this car under her name. Her parent didn't ask me to pay any money and he said you already bought car. In fact I did this because my friend from UK suggested this idea,because his wife's parent asked him to buy a car and register this car under his daughter name. So I don't think you have to pay, because you are not Chinese and you don't need to follow Chinese cultures, and her father should know that you are not Chinese and you will never ever be Chinese, So he shouldn't ask you. But if he can't see only money.. the choice will back to you.. Regards |
| Jan 12, 2017 12:22 | #153 |
| GUEST11240 | Warning. Anybody wishing to marry a Chinese woman from the mainland will see a common theme throughout the posts. Some are the extreme as you would have with any person, however, there are certain characteristics that seem to be hard-wired. Before, I start I will say that I am in a crumbling marriage to a Chinese woman after six years and that I am by no means perfect. I take responsibility for my part. However, there are things that I wish I would have thought of at the beginning. 1/ The cultural divide is huge. Not the day to day living, (spitting, burping, eat with their mouths open, etc), but what is proper. I've gone out with Chinese women from the mainland before, but they had been living in the West for 10 years or so and had integrated themselves with Western culture. Generally, often their travel is limited to China only, and their perceptions of Western men (good and bad) is based on movies. 2/ They genuinely care about your health. However, some of their health solutions (after eat fruit and vegetables) might not be that healthy. Chinese medicine. 3/ The "face thing" could take a book to understand. This is not only with respect to your behavior, but also can apply to the type of car you drive, what you do for a living, where you live. This is not greed necessarily, but a cultural status thing. As many have posted, you did something wrong, it might take a while to find out what it is. Then, you shake your head going WTF? 4/ "I am a traditional woman, who loves family and looking to meet traditional man". Traditional in China means the husband is paying for everything. Family means loves her own family and not necessarily yours. 5/ She was lazy. She spent a lot of time in her pajamas. Reading, chatting on WeChat with friends. She wouldn't take a job that she felt was beneath her or for lower-class people. 6/ Although it got better, I found her a little racist. Mostly with other Chinese. She looked down on people from certain provinces. 7/ She needed a lot of attention. Okay, maybe this is just her. If I didn't keep touch or give her constant encouragement I would get the "who is she"? This got to be a nuisance. 8/ Money. I knew this going in. She said your money is my money, my money is my money. Sounded fine until she started by unnecessary stuff. (who needs two I-Pads?) I had been a single Dad for many years so maybe I wasn't thinking straight. If you had gotten out of a bad relationship in the West, a Chinese woman will seem like a breath of fresh air. At first. You can spend time in China like I did and think you know. Then when they come to the West, they go through a change. She wasn't a gold digger, but the relocation can be very stressful for a long time. I guess this applies to anyone moving away from their comfort zone. Take you time if this is the way you wish to go. |
| Jan 24, 2017 23:37 | #154 |
| GUEST84140 | My chinese wife is cold as ice, I don't know what the hell happened. I probably told her I couldn't pay for some frivolous thing, then she shuts it down for 3 months. I married a pretty face but I am dying everyday. |
| Feb 8, 2017 06:05 | #155 |
| GUEST21525 | I have fallen in love with a 44 years old Chinese woman but I am 68 her friends do not approve she loves me but she is asking me to be patient I asked her to move in with me and marry in 6 months but she want to wait I don't want to loose her what can I do please help |
| Feb 9, 2017 07:10 | #156 |
| GUEST16568 | My wife is Chinese and I have been married to her for 5 years. Anybody that says they understand women is guessing. This applies more so to Chinese women. My wife plays the strategy game with me (like chess) and usually wins as she is grand master. Chinese women are the masters of the house due to Chinese tradition. Outside that is different and she will lose face if she openly defies my will (if not jesting with friends and family). Chinese through culture have close family ties and ties to long standing friends some reaching back into early childhood. This is not a bad thing but a very good thing. I was in trouble financially and I had offers from family and friends both male and female to help. I accepted help from my step daughter and sister-in-law. I have given up trying to change my wife, can't win anyway, I have to change. The whole world has to change as the Chinese culture and language will spread around the world. This will be a good thing. Chinese have an optimistic outlook whereas I tend to find people in the west more complaining and glass half empty. Let us hope for a happy blend for the sake of Ren. |
| Feb 9, 2017 10:03 | #157 |
| The stories here have many things in common. I am a 73 year old American. I have many Chinese friends. They often look to me for advice. They share what they are thinking and what they want. Here is what I have observed: 1. The beautiful, well educated girls will seek a husband based on everything except love. They say love will develop. 2. Those working will put earning money ahead of their close friends, family and lovers. If they make an commitment to one of those people, they will break it immediately if the opportunity to make money arises. 3. The ones "in love" can end it in an instant over simple disagreements. Sometimes even if it is not what they want. 4. Those in America insist on keeping their Chinese traditions and values. That is great except when it comes to business dealings in our culture. If they want the benefits of our country, they should adapt to some of our customs. They insist we do that when we are in China. 5. I speak very little Chinese and rely primarily on translation apps. If a comment sounds odd or offensive, I run it through several apps. I use about 5 and find the results are sometimes opposite of what was intended. BE CAREFUL with translation apps. Learning the cultural differences has been very interesting. I love my Chinese friends and China is a beautiful country with a rich history. Some of the differences are fascinating, some I can not respect or understand. I guess that polarity keeps the earth spinning.  |
| Feb 13, 2017 04:07 | #158 |
| GUEST36201 | 1) Never date a prostitute. 2) Chinese women are bossy. 3) If your are loser in your own country, you will be a loser in her eye soon! 4) For any country, good girl will not date with foreigner! |
| Mar 15, 2017 21:26 | #159 |
| GUEST82213 | Yes,I am a Chinese woman who's been married with an american man for 7 years. I totally agree with some of comments above,woman is woman,go find a good one,does not matter she is Chinese woman, Greek Woman,American woman or Russian woman, technically, what you are is what you get...Good luck. |
| Mar 16, 2017 13:26 | #160 |
| GUEST82213 | hi,there, I just happened come into this web site and read most of these comments,I would say woman is just woman,it does not matter where she's from.The only difference between them is "right or not right for you:)". I do have a friend in Shenzhen,who's my colleague before I came here.She's current still working for that company as a supervisor of HR.She's born in 1973,she has a 12 year old son,her husband passed away about years ago,because of health problem. If you are still interested at knowing someone from China,please write to me and let me know,I would introduce both of you to each other.My email is"att.net|Sabrina_hf,my name is Sabrina Have a good one |
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