| Once you marry a Chinese woman, it is tantamount to marrying her entire family. | |
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| Oct 16, 2014 19:09 | #61   |
| GUESTBUTCH | I been (was) married to a Chinese woman for 6 years, they make rules for everything , the man has no family after she marries you, only hers ,your family is know as trash.. the money you make is her`s the money she makes is her`s you don't believe me ask her, most Chinese women have bank accounts in china that the husband doesn't know about Anything you had is no longer yours it belongs to her family now . you are only good for one thing ; go to work get second job make more money. been there done it, only advice I give to western men who wants a Chinese wife is run run as fast as you can an don't look back, and yes after you get divorce their girl friends , start writing or calling you about wanting husband ,no shame they seen what your ex got why not her |
| Oct 22, 2014 03:02 | #62 |
| GUEST28208 | I was married to a woman from Shanghai. She was really nice to me before we were married. She became negative, critical and angry soon afterwards. We met in the US. She was living here without a visa. I did not try to mislead her, but she thought I was richer than I was, because I had a nice house and car. Had I been more careful to communicate my financial status, she never would have married me. It would have saved me a lot of grief and money. She constantly told me that Shanghai people were better than other Chinese people, and that other Chinese people did not like Shanghai people. I discovered that many Chinese people are not as materialistic as the people from Shanghai I know. Although I had a bad experience, I still want a Chinese wife. I put my profile on a Chinese dating site and had 97 responses in 72 hours! Wow! I've never had it so good! I met several ladies online that I could easily fall in love with. One of them really captured my heart. I'm 66 and she's 52 and retired. We video chat by QQ 2 hours or more every day. There are a few things I've learned: 1. Don't even consider marrying a Chinese woman without becoming an avid student of her culture. You had better know and like her culture, because you will be living with it. 2. Make sure you can communicate. Her English or your Mandarin has to be good enough to communicate all the things you expect from each other. A feeling of love isn't enough. How will you handle the money? Who is in charge in the family? What characteristics or attitudes do either of you have that could annoy the other? What makes you or her get angry? What do she do when she gets angry? If you cannot communicate things like that, you're heading for trouble. A pretty face and a nice body are enough to attract, but not enough to sustain a relationship. 3. God gave you a head to think with and a heart to feel with. Do your thinking with your head and not your heart. Just because you feel a powerful attraction for her does not mean she will be a good wife. 4. Be patient with her. She is leaving everything familiar to be with you. Strive to be very understanding with her. One famous author put it this way: "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood." 5. Try to make sure that she really wants you for the rest of her life. While a lot of Chinese women want love for life, many just want to immigrate and then divorce. 6. Don't put your house in both names until you are absolutely sure that she is committed permanently to you. You probably want to wait at least 2 years after she gets her permanent visa. In the meantime you can put it in your will so she gets it if you die. 7. Treasure her. The Bible says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing." Finding a good woman and building a happy relationship for both of you for life is a great joy. In my opinion, a good Chinese woman is the best there is . |
| Nov 13, 2014 09:12 | #63 |
| GUEST23634 | Please help ... My son married Half chinese half english woman ... However she is more chinese ..before wedding she was quiet and pleasant after a wedding ... total change ... as you said only her family matters.. they are spending together day and night .. all ( 3 sisters have PHD ) That would be OK ... but by her lies and manipulation she separated my son from us .. ( so did her mother with her dad) This story is very painful for me .. my son is totally "blind " I can not describe how much ... I see him change so much ... I understand ( trying ) that her family is important but why totally separate him from his. I would love to talk to someone about it ...someone that understands ...because I am close to loose my mind ... and trying to find my fault in all this .. |
| Nov 19, 2014 09:15 | #64 |
| GUEST01476 | I am also an Aussie about to marry a Chinese gal. Do you have any advice for me? |
| Nov 19, 2014 09:25 | #65 |
| GUEST01476 | Lisa would you ever consider living in Australia? |
| Nov 25, 2014 00:05 | #66 |
| GUEST10161 | I visited my wife twice in Shanghai before proposing and going through all the crap that the government considers necessary for a visa. Cut a long story short it soon became apparent that her life revolved around her son and I was frowned upon if I took an interest in my 3 children , not living with us. over 2 years I managed to teach her to drive OMG , found her a job etc. I was made redundant and it quickly became evident I was now a liability , a few months after she got permanent residency she was gone with her dominated kid. Then five days after she left I got a visit from the cops and was slapped with a violence order! I know she did this to stop me from trying to contact her and try to get her to come back. I had only sent her nice texts , still got them as proof! Any way with one of those orders you are guilty until proven innocent as I found out. In a nut shell she was manipulative , cunning , controlling and a very good liar and performer ( pretended to love me) until I became a asset liability. After she left my kids told me what she had said to them and I was shocked but also not surprised , she had groomed them by telling lies about me to them and also to my parents. I suffered depression , had to see a shrink 12 times. Hope you guys have better luck. |
| Dec 28, 2014 09:42 | #67 |
| GUEST21758 | Chinese women, like women from any country, come in varieties. My general experiences with them have been very good, whether my girl friend or just friends. My girl friend is great, she is kind and caring, always thinking about how I am, not herself, though she is a little bossy( or should I say strongly opinion-ed)Ha ha. I like to buy her small gifts, but she often tells me not to waste money on her, anything I buy her she keeps for sentimentality( after telling me I am a bad boy), except clothes, she will wear them. She always tells me to eat healthy food, because my body is hers, and does not get jealous about female friends, she knows I love her, and trusts me, as I trust her. Her brothers are nice, but her parents, not so much, though I gained some respect after her father found out I did good(yiban ban) ShuFa, it's his hobby too. Her mother just does not like foreigners much, actually she thinks foreigners are not a good idea. My Chinese is not great yet, luckily my GF's English is very good, though she has an American accent, will endeavour to change that later LOL. Anyhow, not all Chinese girls are this good, but that can be said of girls from any country, to find a good one takes looking beyond their beauty and cuteness, ya gotta get to know them in 4 dimensions, not just 2, like any other girl from anywhere. |
| Dec 28, 2014 09:57 | #68 |
| GUEST21758 | I went to a Chinese wedding a couple of years ago, a wedding breakfast in her parents town and a lunch in his parents town, food was great, they gave me one of the kids as translator, so no problems, and the kid was very happy to practice her English. Had a great time, Chinese people are great, have met many, and have stayed as a guest too, wonderful people. |
| Jan 6, 2015 11:23 | #69 |
| GUEST24533 | Will be back soon to China to marry a chinese woman. We have been in touch for 2.5 years. She went to my country to visit me last year 2014 . And since then we have a lot of contact over email, Skype, wechat. I told her I want to come to China to be with her. She asked via email. What my family thinks about it apply ing for a family visa ( other words getting married) I think its a great idea. Also think its very special. When 2 people. far away from each other. Still are so close . We both want to following a marrieds process in order to be together. However i don't have experience, with marrieds in China. I know some culture difference. And lived in China before for 1.5 year. But this is a different level. She is a very out going person. Loves to travel . Has her own companies. Works with western people everyday. And out of her story. We want to keep the wedding simple Can some body give me some tips or advice, what is very important to know by marry a chinese woman.? I will be in China in 3 weeks from now. I Will go from Shanghai where she has her company to her hometown Jiangsu, and meet there parents 3 days after I arrivé. She told me that her dad is currious what kind of laiwai she comes with. Im a very convidence person. But as this New for me. Im so excited, happy , but also nerveous . How to prepare myself ? Looking forward to your experience with this. Thanks.. |
| Jan 11, 2015 02:07 | #70 |
| GUEST11685 | Thank you for the info. I am old too and met a woman online who seems to be very nice and will try to meet here soon. Thanks again. Hard to find honest info on this subject. |
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