| It’s not a matter of banana and apple. | |
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| Feb 4, 2013 23:18 | #11   |
 | You may solve only one problem, going back to hometown together. Marriage is like going to a learning institution, trying to understand two individuals. Wan |
| Feb 5, 2013 20:58 | #12 |
| Quote:Originally Posted by WANHU You may solve only one problem, going back to hometown together. Marriage is like going to a learning institution, trying to understand two individuals.Wan Yes, and it takes a long time to complete the learning. However, some people give up at the beginning. Those who stick together till the end master the real meaning of marriage. |
| Feb 7, 2013 00:39 | #13 |
| We need an attitude of give and take. Wan |
| Feb 7, 2013 20:55 | #14 |
| Quote:Originally Posted by WANHU We need an attitude of give and take.Wan Unfortunately, some people don't know this. They just take what they need and never give what others need. |
| Feb 9, 2013 02:41 | #15 |
| So we go back to the square one, understanding, accepting and respecting individuals. Devoid of these three elements, I observe, most marriages would fail. Wan |
| Feb 10, 2013 09:10 | #16 |
| Quote:Originally Posted by WANHU So we go back to the square one, understanding, accepting and respecting individuals. Devoid of these three elements, I observe, most marriages would fail.Wan I guess the rule of thumb can be extended to other relationship. While that u know it doesnt mean u can well practice it especially where resource is limited...as it comes to marriage spectrum, I believe it's more than that...I am saying that because most of us have a full and healthy family and it's way beyond our guess work or limited experience why some families are broken or walk into the end... |
| Feb 14, 2013 02:47 | #17 |
| Quote:Originally Posted by COOLSPRINGS I guess the rule of thumb can be extended to other relationship. While that u know it doesnt mean u can well practice it especially where resource is limited...as it comes to marriage spectrum, I believe it's more than that...I am saying that because most of us have a full and healthy family and it's way beyond our guess work or limi... Full and healthy family? If you may, I would appreciate further elaboration. Look at those threads posted, purchasing things online, facial repair, going back home for certain festivals... reasons for the divorce. Marriage is a life commitment not mere convenience. We need to work for it to survive. Wan |
| Feb 14, 2013 22:35 | #18 |
| Quote:Originally Posted by WANHU <br />Full and healthy family? If you may, I would appreciate further elaboration.<br /> Look at those threads posted, purchasing things online, facial repair, going back home for certain festivals... reasons for the divorce. Marriage is a life commitment not mere convenience. We need to work for it to survive.<br /> Wan Life itself is commitment. It is not as rosy as you wish it to be nor is it so miserable as you feel where you suffer difficulties. It all depends how much you can reconcile yourself. It's easier said than done. Wanhu, I dont quite understand the list of reasons you stated for 'divorce'. However, I believe according to your life experiene as a mature man, u understand that greed and lack of resouce is the number 1 drive for those uggly happenings...this could be the last reason for divorce however it could be the major reason of divorce in some circumstances...On the other hand, human is human not animal , if there is really something pure left inside, it is just the ideal flashing away like youth-the short golden age- that is gone and never more. For the rest of days , u continue to be swallowed by the reality and then by the fear of death til the end... |
Last edited by COOLSPRINGS: Feb 14, 2013 22:41 |
| Feb 16, 2013 22:22 | #19 |
| Dear CoolSprings, what causes the divorce when a couple argued against one another just to decide which hometown they need to go back to, for a spring holiday? To me is very simple, they don't understand one another. Greed is one of the entailing elements that causing the breakup in marriage, but then people also have "greed" for knowledge. Human has greed, anger, hatred and jealousy and all those unbecoming attitude. but he should be able to control and should use with better judgement with proper transformation. We can hate, but hate the bad things happening around us and put an effort to change. Fearing death is good because with death in mind can be a motivating factor for people to do more good deeds, to contribute to the poor and the have-nots. Some people with certain religious background they subscribe to, fear of the questions they will be asked of the deeds done on earth, and the rewards and punishment they may receive in the hereafter life. Life is really short. Wan |
| Feb 17, 2013 00:02 | #20 |
| Wan, Actually, both sides are good kids in their parents' eyes because they are obedient to their parents. Why did they divorce? They want to go back to see their own parents. Why not let them come to their parents separately? According to what I know, many girls spend the Spring Festival with their parents-in-law after getting married. On the second day of January (lunar calendar), they will come back to visit their own parents. This is the tradition. My friend Jane wanted to come back to spend her first Spring Festival with her own parents after marriage. Her parents drove her away. Her parents told her that it was the old tradition and she should observe it. |
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