Do you have to sleep separately? YES!

Do you have to sleep separately? YES!
Feb 5, 2013 02:16
BBQQ Points: Join Date: Feb 7, 2007 Status: offline	Chinese Spring Festival Holiday is approaching. Some young Chinese will bring their boyfriends or girlfriends back home for a visit. Actually, their parents will take this chance to decide whether their children’s lovers can be their son or daughter-in-law. It’s like an examination. If you give good impression to your lover’s parents, you will be approved of getting married with their sons or daughters. Many of them are nervous because they want to be approved by their future parents-in-law. In order to achieve your goal, you have to behave very well. One of the important things is that you have to sleep separately. Why? Many Chinese parents are traditional. If you two sleep together, they will feel weird. “You haven’t been married. How could you sleep together?” They might ask such a question. Seriously, it is a matter of reputation, especially for the girl’s parents. If anyone knows that you two sleep together before getting married, gossip will spread widely and your family reputation is gone.

Feb 5, 2013 02:16

BBQQ
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Join Date: Feb 7, 2007
Status: offline

Chinese Spring Festival Holiday is approaching. Some young Chinese will bring their boyfriends or girlfriends back home for a visit. Actually, their parents will take this chance to decide whether their children’s lovers can be their son or daughter-in-law. It’s like an examination. If you give good impression to your lover’s parents, you will be approved of getting married with their sons or daughters. Many of them are nervous because they want to be approved by their future parents-in-law.

In order to achieve your goal, you have to behave very well. One of the important things is that you have to sleep separately. Why? Many Chinese parents are traditional. If you two sleep together, they will feel weird. “You haven’t been married. How could you sleep together?” They might ask such a question. Seriously, it is a matter of reputation, especially for the girl’s parents. If anyone knows that you two sleep together before getting married, gossip will spread widely and your family reputation is gone.

Feb 7, 2013 01:35	#1
WANHU Points: Join Date: Feb 20, 2007 Status: Offline	I like traditional culture, including to stay separate until marriage is solemnised. Wan

Feb 7, 2013 20:28	#2
BBQQ Points: Join Date: Feb 7, 2007 Status: Offline	Quote: Originally Posted by WANHU I like traditional culture, including to stay separate until marriage is solemnised. Wan That's what I want to hear. Don't give bad impressions to your future parents-in-law. If you did it, you may be disqualified to marry their girls.

Feb 9, 2013 10:15	#3
WANHU Points: Join Date: Feb 20, 2007 Status: Offline	BBQQ, we have our own culture while others also have theirs. For me, preserving our culture is good while others may choose what they like although we may disagree. Wan

Feb 21, 2013 21:08	#4
GLOOMYSUNDAY Points: Join Date: Jul 23, 2008 Status: Offline	BBQQ, do you think boy's parents are easier to accept/allow this than girl’s parents?

Feb 26, 2013 01:47	#5
BBQQ Points: Join Date: Feb 7, 2007 Status: Offline	Quote: Originally Posted by GLOOMYSUNDAY BBQQ, do you think boy's parents are easier to accept/allow this than girl’s parents? I guess we should ask a Chinese boy to answer this question.

May 16, 2013 21:32	#6
DAVID_LIAO Points: Join Date: May 8, 2013 Status: Offline	Generrally, the answer is YES, but it depends

May 19, 2013 22:50	#7
BBQQ Points: Join Date: Feb 7, 2007 Status: Offline	Quote: Originally Posted by DAVID_LIAO Generrally, the answer is YES, but it depends Do you mean there are some exceptional cases?

May 20, 2013 01:14

DAVID_LIAO
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Join Date: May 8, 2013
Status: Offline

I had better tell you ABC about this.

1. Traditionally, unmarried girl who have sexual relationship with someone will be treated as slut in China, even with fiancés herself. For man, people think you are light-minded too. Comparably, woman will be suffered far more for unmarried sexy, because man has privilege of multiple-wives if he is wealthy, high social status in the past time. Since some people keep few old-ideas in their mind, and others don’t take those things seriously. So, if your G-friend’s or you B-friend’s patients are open-minded, you needn’t to worry about sleeping together, and you should take it seriously if her/his parents are traditional persons.
2. In China, when the young are going to marry, their parents have to prepare a lot stuff for them, such as house, car, especially the boy’s parents. They believe they are obligated to do that. Many girls will not marry poor guy whose family can’t do that (personally, I treat it as a kind of deal). But things will come to different if they young couple have had sexy openly, or the girl is pregnant. The girl and her family will lose their reputation if she marries someone else and the girl may have no more choice but to marry the boy who made her pregnant. In this case, the boy’s parents will be happy because they don’t need to buy so many things to make the girls’ parents happy. And the girl has to know, if you have had sex with your partner before marrying, his parents may treat you “light”.
3. Nowadays, most of people can accept unmarried sexy, especially those with good education. For Chinese, the parents always hope their adult children get marry as soon as possible to have babies. So, sleeping together will be ok in those families.

And for an approval from his/her parents, maybe you should pay attention to many things. As you known, good impression is important.

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