| Chinese women and American men | |
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| May 19, 2009 03:42 | #21   |
 | I sent you a message containing my e-mail address... However Im not sure if you will recieve it or not... let me know... I cannot seem to find your e-mail address anywhere... if you recieve my message... drop me a e-mail so I may have yours... If I could find yours I would certainly send you an e-mail... |
| May 19, 2009 03:44 | #22 |
| You know what... I can will admit when I have bein foolish... and today is one of them... I found your e-mail address. so I apologize for my infality. =/ |
| Jun 18, 2009 15:09 | #23 |
| My advice, for what it's worth, is to learn everything you can about her culture. Your biggest enemy is going to be cultural conflict. Whatever you do, do it in accordance with her parents customs, rituals, and traditions. Remember, what is considered "normal" in your culture may be taken as a brutal insult in her culture. |
| Aug 11, 2009 09:02 | #24 |
| I met a young woman from China at a class we both were taking at a local community college. She is here attending college on a student visa. We get along very well and have spent a considerable amount of time together. I have mentioned to her that I like her very much. She is very focused on her education, which I find very admirable and also a quality about her that is very attractive. We met 9 months ago. Last evening we went for ice cream and went to a local public flower garden, then to a coffee shop and a drive after that. I find myself wanting to be affectionate with her. Holding hands etc... She has told me she wants to stay focused on her studies and that a relationship would distract her, but yet she calls often and we do spend quality time together. I have a genuine caring attraction and she is a beautiful woman how can I take this relationship further? When I take her to her apartment at the end of the evening I find myself wanting to kiss her good night. I respect her very much and don't want to offend her. I think she is attracted to me also but is afraid that taking our relationship to the next level would distract her from her studies. What can I say or do to reassure her that her goals would not be in jeopardy if we took our relationship to the next level? |
| Aug 15, 2009 00:37 | #25 |
| GUEST12126 | Gee, why don't you guys find girls in reality? |
| Nov 7, 2009 11:00 | #26 |
| GUEST28175 | Outside of what you have posted I know nothing other than experiance. I talked with my best friends sister, also Chinese, for 3 months almost every night after work. Sometimes for hours. When I brought up the fact that I liked her she ultimately said I was a great guy but no thanks. Of course I was devistated. Women love to yak. Women love attention. Women love friends. But unless you fit that ideal that they are attracted to, it aint going to happen. When you think about why she came to the states, to go to school. That is her goal. She may also have preasures back home from her family to suceed. My personal experiece with Chinese woman are that that they can be great friends but racists at the same time. As in hey, I'll be friends with this white guy but my parents will never let me marry him. If they are 2nd or 3rd generation Chinese-American and don't push that "You have to marry only" crap then you may have a shot but they respect their parents wishes even in their older years. That's my opinion and experience. |
| Jan 11, 2010 14:27 | #27 |
| GUEST49183 | It sounds like these Chinese woman are more friggen trouble then they are worth....I'll take a blonde haired blue eyed all-american lady first anytime...... |
| Jan 26, 2010 11:53 | #28 |
| GUEST30170 | Hi,It is very easy to look at this subject (American man Chinese Woman) in a black and white yes or no fashion,but there is a ton of gray area with boys and girls where ever you go on this planet and a billion eceptions to every rule.As someone posted before the hardwiring of men and wemon is just the way nature made us,It`s a global thing.I met my wife six years ago. Before then I was single for four years after getting tired of making the the same mistakes in my choice of girls,but hey they would probably say the same of me to be fair.Anyway I knew I had to do something different when I was ready to jump back into the love game' and to make a long story short I ended up in Fushun China and met a woman named Dongmei.Any marriage,or a relationship will always have it`s ups and downs.My advise for China girls is this.First and formost is getting a heads up on breaking down the langauge barrier before you even start.Take a bit of time learning some basic Mandarin,or cantonese depending on the girls dialect,also it would be smart to find a girl who has at least some basic graspt of English.This will save you and her many problems.Still love is love and that can`t always be helped if you meet someone special.Next understand in most cases she will be very close and tide to her familly (forever) That said I have much more to say,but I have picked a bad time to post and need to return to work.Anyway I have a great wife and friend.It will never be perfect nothing is,but I have never been happier and more cared for in my life. |
| Jan 30, 2010 13:52 | #29 |
| GUEST18921 | The Chinese woman has several characteristics that are very odd to westerners. For many reasons of economics, history and hardships, Chinese women consider it their duty to support their parents. Why is this different from Westerners? We have typically social safety nets for seniors, and our parents usually have considerable financial resources of their own. In China they do not exist. Also, historically, a Chinese woman may do horrible jobs to support her parents and *brother* if she has one. They desire a baby to please their parents as much as themselves. The Chinese woman would not see it strange to send her baby to be raised by its grandparents or the mother's aunt if this allowed the Chinese mom to continue to earn money. The Chinese woman definitely feels capable of subjugating both her own feelings and the feelings and desires of her husband or male partner to achieve the goals of her family. To a western woman, it's an anathema to have a relative raise her newborn baby. As far as the war of the sexes, Chinese women have guile and cleverness bred in the crucible of thousands of years of being used by Chinese men, including their fathers. So, the typical Chinese woman is extremely capable playing "the game of love". The western man should not be fooled by the kind, considerate, sexy nature of the Chinese woman. She is not to be confused with Japanese for example. A Chinese woman sees no problem deceiving and manipulating a man to get what she really wants. She will absolutely, positively marry for financial gain. The Chinese woman does indeed see western men as kinder, gentler, more considerate and sexy than the average Chinese man. Successful Chinese men have affairs and their wives suffer. Some may ask why I know this? I had a Chinese girlfriend from Shanghai. She was a master of intrigue and tried to take advange of my kindness just when I had a difficult time in my life. After the traumatic death of a parent, she also knew I had received an inheritance so this was her time to pressure me. She is now confilcted inside herself. She loves me, but she wants to play tough with me and get "what I want" from some other guy. So, what is her soluton? She wants me to continue to be her "special friend"=sex partner, while she gets her new guy to provide her with the other things she wants. The other things? Bring her parents to the USA to live with her, including her unemployed brother, etc,etc. Get the picture? To her, a man is a means to an end. To other women, e.g. Mexican, Peruvian, etc. men and relationships are an end in themselves. Her most interesting quote texted to me was "I love you. But, love is not enough. We have to face reality." Western men, beware the CRDF="Chinese reality disruption field". This field extends several meters around that gorgeous sexy Chinese woman you are gazing at. |
| Jan 30, 2010 19:41 | #30 |
| Really, guest. I think Chinese womens' achievement are attributed to Chinese communist party that launched the events 'gender equality'. At the same time, I think we have a good example from American and European women whose talents are even above their men. See this movie 'if tomorrow comes' and 'the woman from the hell' by Sidney Sheldon who was very popular in mainland China in 1980's. |
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