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Is it possible to be friends with your GF/BF if you two break up?
Dec 15, 2007 21:05
#31  
  • JIMMYB
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Quote: "Well, I should learn to forgive others and be magnanimous because I am a man. :-) "
Err… what about if you are a woman? @_@

Well, SHESGOTTOBE. If a woman were magnanimous, that would be very great. She doesn't mind her husband save some pin money or cash-dough. If my future girl were such a girl, I would be very happy:-)
Dec 16, 2007 03:37
#32  
  • IRADJMIRZA
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There is a rule in the psychology:
NO FRIENDSHIP AFTER a RELATIONSHIP

Dec 16, 2007 11:22
#33  
  • APAULT
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I'm not sure I like the word 'invest' in the context of friendship, that the last Guest used. friendship is something you give, investing is something that you expect a return greater than the input.
Dec 18, 2007 19:44
#34  
  • KATRINA
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Quote: The reason is because I have been very good friends with guys in the past, and they distance themselves when they have a serious girlfriend or get married.

Do you know why they distance themselves? In China, if you still meet your ex-girlfriend, your present wife will think that you two are still in relationship with her. To avoid misunderstanding and quarrels, it is better not to meet your ex GF. If you really need to see your ex-girlfriend, it is wise to tell your wife. Remember not to see your ex behind your wife. If she knows it, you are sure to be in trouble. Perhaps, your wife are jelous of your ex-girlfriend and are afraid that you two may make up.

Dec 19, 2007 10:57
#35  
  • APAULT
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Katrina: When I was young and naiive I would have agreed with you that it is best to tell your wife/husband if you need to meet an ex, but I have learnt otherwise!!! I would only recommend it if there is a chance the other half will find out. If not, say nothing, don't stir the pot.
Dec 19, 2007 21:19
#36  
  • LIONPOWER
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KATRINA expresses the traditional believe of Asia. This is fact.
Dec 20, 2007 18:55
#37  
  • JIMMYB
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Quote: If you really need to see your ex-girlfriend, it is wise to tell your wife. Remember not to see your ex behind your wife. If she knows it, you are sure to be in trouble.

Exactly. Women are emotional and sensitive. I just read a very interesting article ' How to be a good wife?' If you are a good wife, you will dress up your husband handsomely when he tells that he needs to see and comfort his ex girlfriend because she just broke up with her boyfriend. That is a good wife in men's eyes. Can women be so magnanimous?
Dec 23, 2007 20:36
#38  
  • BBQQ
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Quote: If you are a good wife, you will dress up your husband handsomely when he tells that he needs to see and comfort his ex girlfriend because she just broke up with her boyfriend. That is a good wife in men's eyes.

Well, perhaps I am not a good woman because I cann't pretend that I don't care about it. Why? I love him deeply. If he goes to see his ex-gf secretly, I will feel angry.
Dec 24, 2007 19:04
#39  
  • JIMMYB
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BBQQ, I understand that why you are very angry. Well, let's change the role. If your ex-boyfriend wants you to see him, what will you do? To see him secretly or tell your husband? I am sure that your husband will also be angry like you too no matter you see your ex-boyfriend secretly or tell your husband. The only difference is that your husband hide his anger and don't want you to notice. Why? He wants you to see that he is magnanimous. Remember not to take it as a sign that he doesn't care about you.
Dec 24, 2007 19:06
#40  
  • SHESGOTTOBE
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My, my, JimmyB, of course women can be magnanimous. I can sense in your words that you can’t believe that women are capable of it. ;-)

I value honesty so as long as my husband would tell me that he is going to see his ex-gf, I won’t have any problem. I would trust him but I will also expect the same level of trust from him. Ah, can men be so magnanimous? And if I trust him, it is up to him whether he would break that trust or not. ^_^

It depends on what comforting his ex-gf means. If it is just talking, no problem. But if he is having a relationship with her or sleeping with her to comfort her, BIG PROBLEM.

At least he should be man enough to tell me that he wanted to be with another woman. I have a right to know where I stand. He shouldn’t even think of hiding anything because trust me, I will eventually find out. If you define magnanimous as “I’m willing to share my husband with another woman”, then you won't see anyone more magnanimous. I will dress him up very handsomely, spray on perfume on him and then deliver him to her and tell her, “Here, you can have him. You don’t have to share him with me anymore.” LOL!
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