| Why do overseas Chinese men seldom marry western women? | |
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| Jan 28, 2010 15:02 | #231   |
| GUEST28161 | Quote:Originally Posted by GUESTROBERT Chinese males? That's a huge chunk of population you're talking. What is the word for that? Stereotype?. Wait, or should I say jealousy? China has thousands of years of rich cultural history, and what do the Westerner world have? The dark ages. What time did the western culture started anyway? You westerners have a lot to learn about other cultures. The world does not revolve around you anymore. Until the western culture mature, and learn to respect other cultures you'll be alone in this world. |
| Jan 29, 2010 09:02 | #232 |
| GUEST17136 | We are basically living in a world that we can pick and choose from all cultures that are good and useful, regardless where they came from. Let us look at the content under the label, not the stereotypes. Mannerism can be very deceiving, especially in dating, where both the Chinese men and women may be more reserved, or polite. When you really know (or married to) one, he/she can be as hard as nails. Watch out: Just because somebody is not outspokenly aggresseive, It does not mean he/she is a pushover (docile, even subservient). The Westerners can never get over to understand this. The issue of patriarchal is more complex, not all of that are bad. I know of white and black fathers abandoned their children/family, because of mid-life crisis... may be because of living in a less patriarchal society? In a more patriarchal society, the father has the responsibility for the family.. It is less likely that a Chinese father would abandon his family under the same circumstances. |
| Mar 20, 2010 23:39 | #233 |
| GUEST12073 | Hi there. As a man of Chinese descent born in Britain, let me first dispel the tacky reasons that the majority seem to go along with. 1) Cultural/language barriers. If that were the case, overseas Chinese women would just be unlikely as Chinese women to be in relationships with westerners (let's be frank, we all mean whites - I wouldn't classify Eastern Europeans or Russians as a westerner). Similarly, black men and women with whites would be a rare sight. It isn't. Also, the Canadian idiot above obviously didn't take into account that those of African ancestry and Muslim societies have way more of a patriarchal society than us (4 wives, anyone?) and they seem to be doing well in Western societies. I also find the "looking for someone to adopt a subservient role" hilarious and hypocritical, considering it is white men who go abroad or mail order a foreign oriental bride because she is subservient, demure and a doormat. Lastly, I bet you will be one of the millions of western men in 20 years time who will eat your very words regarding patriarchal societies when you find yourself divorced, paying for a home that you can't live in, a wife you hate and children you can't see. 2) Closed society. Right, so closed our women are leaving them in droves. Theories like that only apply if the same applies to both sexes; it clearly doesn't. Other minority groups successfully intermingle with the host majority in roughly same amounts amongst the sexes. Except for ours. There are four reasons which are true and most comonly prevalent (as I have encountered amongst my Chinese male friends and general situations): 1) White women. Don't mean to stereotype.... but hey, seeing as they do it themselves.... basically, they don't like us. They have got it into their heads that we are poor, bucktoothed, socially inept weirdos. The stereotypes - of which there are many - computer maths geek, kung fu, egg fried rice, small dicked - every known stereotype and assumption associated with us is negative. Historically the media has been hostile towards us - notice how current media is very favourable to blacks... black-white couples (of both sexes), fantastic role models etc... like it or not, people are very stupid - all it takes is for the media to shape their likes and dislikes. This starts from childhood all the way to death, influenced by friends, media, family and society. Maybe when they get older they realise they've been duped... too late then. Anyway, from all those stereotypes we have become a source of ridicule rather than respect. Women will never relate to someone who is not respected by society. |
| Mar 20, 2010 23:42 | #234 |
| GUESTGUEST12073 | Another point is feminism. Not that that's a bad thing in itself, but there is a huge difference between white women and oriental women; the former being assertive, manipulative and very vocal. White men have commented much on this being the reasoning why they "prefer Chinese women" now - they want a woman who fits the traditional female role more (thus making the above Canuck's point rather redundant). It's not a case of Chinese men not being able to handle them - moreso no man can handle them. You must have heard the stories - extremely drunk, white women picking fights, hurling abuse and spewing all over the floor and sleeping with random strangers. Who wants to date, let alone be married to someone like that? All the "nice" white women are already taken, and they certainly aren't the type to go out clubbing in that way. 2) White men. Who happens to be all too happy to perpetuate and exxagerate the above stereotypes? That's right, white men. When such an influential and vocal groups are so openly disrespectful towards us, is there any wonder white women do no dare approach us, or vice-versa? Which brings me to the other point. Myself and my Chinese male friends have always been "shielded" from white women, not by the women themselves, but by white men who group themselves with them, interrupt conversations, lie and spread rumours about us - anything in achieve the goal of stopping Chinese men talking to "their" women. In a nightclub environment, this has amounted to violence sometimes. Notice the difference between black men approaching white women and us approaching white women, the next time you go out - white men leave well alone with blacks (although look disapprovingly), but actively seek to stop encounters with us. This is in stark contrast with what Chinese men in China and other majority Chinese countries do; they don't seem to do anything when white men approach Chinese women. Thus the huge number of white men with local women in the Far East. 3) Communication. It's standard for the man to approach the woman. Armed with all the above factors, from negative stereotypes to aggressive women, what sane Chinese man would want to do the approaching? And all the decent white women expect the man to make the first move. So instead of > < we have < >. 4) Size. Another standard - in relationships the man is usually bigger and taller than the woman. It's ingrained in society, it's the norm, the media. Nearly all white men are taller than chinese women. A far smaller proportion of chinese men are taller than white women (their 5 inch heels do not help). |
| Mar 29, 2010 19:30 | #235 |
| GUEST25313 | I don't know what you guys are complaining about. I never being stereotyped by a white woman, well maybe a few times, but more by jealous white men thinking that I'm stealing their women. As for me, I don't give a deam. They date asian girls, so why can't I date white girls? My friends understand. I have a whole variety of friends ranging from latinos to whites and blacks, and I'm very respectful to them. Same goes with all white girls I dated. |
| Apr 17, 2010 09:06 | #236 |
| GUEST70140 | hello! i am very interested in white girls! |
| Jun 17, 2010 05:05 | #237 |
| GUEST??? | i find that its mostly racism from the white western women. as a chinese american, born and raised, i cant even get a conversation with a western woman. western women are sexy, but whenever i talk to them, theyre not having it. as they say in chinese, 看不顺眼. for the most part, i get along with foreign males just fine. i have a very diverse group of friends from european americans to indians, pakistanis, mexicans, arabs, muslims, hispanics, africans, afro americans, asians, etc. i think that african women are much more receptive towards the chinese man than white women. in fact, out of all these groups, i find it the easiest to get a date with an african woman. many times i will even have african women ask me out. |
| Jul 14, 2010 21:04 | #238 |
 | You guys've got it all totally wrong. western chicks can only dream of being svelte, cute and demure enough to be accepted on the arm of funky fast fours driver looking like jet lee on spanish fly. Western chicks are still here waiting to be romanced over noodles and dumplings, to kanoodle in the ktv karaoke room, and dare we even fantasize about getting a giant stuffed milaushu toy as a symbol of his undying affection. Sigh. Total misunderstanding. |
| Oct 10, 2010 23:27 | #239 |
| GUEST17241 | Where are you all living? I'm Chinese from Hong Kong living in Southern California and have no problem dating White women. You just have to be a nice guy and be attentive like you should with all races. White women are actually easy to get along with. Alot more transparent without the passive aggressive stuff alot of Asian women do. |
| Dec 11, 2010 10:44 | #240 |
| GUEST30145 | If you read history carefully, the migrating Chinese had been marrying whites, browns and black years, decades and centuries ago. Leonardo, please take note that a swallow doesn't make a summer. |
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