40 signs that a Laowai has been to China too long

40 signs that a Laowai has been to China too long
Apr 6, 2008 02:59
CHERRY07 Points: Join Date: Mar 23, 2008 Status: offline	As a Laowai who has been in China for long, have any changes taken place on you? I mean, have Chinese locals assimilated you? Here are 40 signs that a Laowai has been to China too long must have. Make a comparison and see how many signs you have. 1. You will not get drunk no matter how many cups of rice wine you drink. 2. You like wearing slippers everywhere and often wear your pajamas to go to the convince store. 3. When walking in the park you can sleepwalk and listen to your mp3 player at the same time. 4. Badminton and ping pong have become your main sport activities. 5. You smoke in elevators. 6. You forget how to have sex in English. 7. You discover using a western-style toilet is uncomfortable. 8. You ask people what animal-year they are. 9. You don't mind squatting, anywhere, anytime. 10. You start to like moon cakes. 11. You tell your parents that their home's fengshui is bad. 12. You don't feel strange seeing elderly women collecting cans and bottles from garbage bins. 13. You say "Aiya!" when you're amazed, excited, in pain or angry. 14. You begin to believe you're quite tall, but you're really only 1.74m (5ft8). 15. You bring large quantities of cash when you go to the hospital or store. 16. When you eat fish you freely spit the bones on the table and no longer notice its eye is looking at you. 17. Your cell phone’s language is set to “Chinese”. 18. You begin to think that buying a new bike is quite stupid because those black market ones cost half as much. 19. You bring your own TP to the bathroom. 20. You can use chopsticks to pick up all different types of food, including peanuts, but when people praise your good ability you get upset.

Apr 6, 2008 02:59

CHERRY07
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Join Date: Mar 23, 2008
Status: offline

As a Laowai who has been in China for long, have any changes taken place on you? I mean, have Chinese locals assimilated you? Here are 40 signs that a Laowai has been to China too long must have. Make a comparison and see how many signs you have.

1. You will not get drunk no matter how many cups of rice wine you drink.
2. You like wearing slippers everywhere and often wear your pajamas to go to the convince store.
3. When walking in the park you can sleepwalk and listen to your mp3 player at the same time.
4. Badminton and ping pong have become your main sport activities.
5. You smoke in elevators.
6. You forget how to have sex in English.
7. You discover using a western-style toilet is uncomfortable.
8. You ask people what animal-year they are.
9. You don't mind squatting, anywhere, anytime.
10. You start to like moon cakes.
11. You tell your parents that their home's fengshui is bad.
12. You don't feel strange seeing elderly women collecting cans and bottles from garbage bins.
13. You say "Aiya!" when you're amazed, excited, in pain or angry.
14. You begin to believe you're quite tall, but you're really only 1.74m (5ft8).
15. You bring large quantities of cash when you go to the hospital or store.
16. When you eat fish you freely spit the bones on the table and no longer notice its eye is looking at you.
17. Your cell phone’s language is set to “Chinese”.
18. You begin to think that buying a new bike is quite stupid because those black market ones cost half as much.
19. You bring your own TP to the bathroom.
20. You can use chopsticks to pick up all different types of food, including peanuts, but when people praise your good ability you get upset.

Apr 6, 2008 03:00

CHERRY07
Points:
Join Date: Mar 23, 2008
Status: Offline

21. You like to look at what other people are buying in the store.
22. When shopping in Carrefour, you look into other foreigners' baskets because you want to know what foreigners eat.
23. You begin to call other foreigners laowai.
24. You think McDonald's and KFC taste good.
25. Your Mandarin is better than many Chinese and you often correct their bad pronunciation.
26. You no longer like to introduce China to newcomers.
27. When Chinese don't stare at you, you wonder why.
28. Firecrackers can no longer wake you up.
29. You like to have hot soup with your dinner and not a cold drink.
30. Chinese ask you for directions.
31. After leaving China you miss Chinese food.
32. In summer time you roll your pants up to your knees when it’s too hot.
33. When entering your house you change into slippers.
34. You think it is strange to pay a lot for software.
35. When the person sitting next to you on the bus wants to get by you don't stand up, just twist sideways.
36. You begin to think your nose is too big.
37. When in a taxi you hum along with the Chinese pop music on the radio.
38. You now consider soy sauce to be a cooking ingredient, not a condiment.
39. In the winter you carry around a tea thermos and refill it with hot water all day long.
40. You blog only 4 times a year, and when you do you just copy other people's entries, and post it on your own with several additions and subtractions without giving them credit.

Apr 6, 2008 07:55	#2
RICKAVON Points: Join Date: Oct 16, 2004 Status: Offline	Great, funny and maybe even quite true. Even though I have only spent a year in Hong Kong and a month in Xian and Lijiang I can see how these signs and characteristics would be true of a laowai who had been in China too long. Thanks for your entertaining posting. Rick in Canada

Apr 6, 2008 09:50	#3
JCNILE123 Points: Join Date: Mar 30, 2006 Status: Offline	So, ((Laowai)) has finally been absorbed and (he/she=he) has no plan for departure. Very funny, good thread.

Apr 6, 2008 13:20	#4
CLAUDIUS Points: Join Date: Jul 24, 2007 Status: Offline	I think I am already meeting a quarter of that.

Apr 6, 2008 19:54	#5
BBQQ Points: Join Date: Feb 7, 2007 Status: Offline	Agree, very funny. But some of them are bad habits. Sigh! Chinese people set bad example for foreigners.

Apr 8, 2008 22:34	#6
WAVERINGHOBBIT Points: Join Date: Jan 24, 2008 Status: Offline	lol! nice one :)

Apr 9, 2008 06:32	#7
MUDDIEDKNEES Points: Join Date: Apr 1, 2008 Status: Offline	Very true and funny, but some of them make me feel like crying--especially the fact that I'm actually liking KFC and McDonald's. =P

Apr 9, 2008 11:40	#8
CLAUDIUS Points: Join Date: Jul 24, 2007 Status: Offline	KFC and McDonalds, me too! haha... In fact that is one of the ways for me to prevent unnecessary problems caused by ingesting local food whenever I travel. Just head for the nearest fast food joint rather than to take chance on restaurant which you aren't familiar with.

Apr 9, 2008 21:24	#9
BBQQ Points: Join Date: Feb 7, 2007 Status: Offline	Claudius, I know that many foreigners are not accustomed to the water, food and environment in China. However, you should try Chinese food. Actually, many foreigners are fond of Chinese food.

Apr 9, 2008 22:22

#10

CLAUDIUS
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Join Date: Jul 24, 2007
Status: Offline

Yeah, BBQQ, tried many types of food from different regions. Favourite remains as steamboat hotpot sichuan style with mala at one side and seafood tang di at the other ying-yang half.

Nowadays foreigners become visibly offended when you comment on their skill in using the chopsticks. I remember my swede friend went like awww...Come ON...I'm here for 18 months! He then proceed to write his 18months old Chinese name on the table, using the chopsticks as what he claimed to be his tool for calligraphy. Of course, he later asked for a new set of chopsticks and new cup of tea which he was using as ink.

As for the preference on food, put it this way, he earns 10k a month with free lodging, but a dine-out in a french restaurant is still a luxury.

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